Posted on 10/18/2008 6:46:26 AM PDT by Mr. Blonde
Give a man enough rope line and hell hang himself. There was His Serene Majesty President-designate Barack the Healer working the crowd at some or other hick burg, and halfway down the rope up pops a plumber to express misgivings about the incoming regimes tax plans.
Supposedly, under the Obama tax plan, 95 per cent of the American people will get a tax cut. Youd think that at this point the natural skepticism of any sentient being other than six-week-old puppies might kick in, but apparently not. If youre wondering why Obama didnt simply announce that under his plan 112 per cent of the American people will get a tax cut, well, they ran it past the focus groups who said that that was all very generous but theyd really like it if he could find a way to stick it to Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove and whatnot. So 95 per cent it is.
By the way, like the nightly news shows, this column now has an exclusive lavishly funded Fact Check Unit set up at great expense (a colorful graphic with the words FACT CHECK ALERT!) in a lame attempt to pass off our transparent political bias as some sort of scientific exercise. Our accredited credentialed licensed expert Fact Checkers from the University of Factology in the Czech Republic are standing by to rigorously Fact Check the candidates claims. We check facts so you dont have to. All you have to do is sign up to our Fact-Check-Me-Now! service and well send you a daily Fact Check on your Facts Machine, which costs only $79.95 from Radio Shack (sorry, no checks).
Anyway, our Fact Check Unit ran the numbers on the Obama tax-cut plan and the number is correct: 95. Its the words per cent immediately following that are wrong: thats a typing error accidentally left in from the first draft. It should read: Under the Obama plan, 95 of the American people will get a tax cut.
Joe the Plumber expressed his misgivings about the President-in-waitings tax inclinations, and the O-Man smoothly reassured him: Its not that I want to punish your success, he told the bloated plutocrat corporate toilet executive. I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that theyve got a chance for success too. I think when you spread the wealth around, its good for everybody.
In that sentence about you spreading the wealth around, theres another typing error: that you should read I, Barack. You will have no say in it. Joe the Plumber might think he himself can spread it around just fine, but everyone knows trickle-down economics dont work. So President-presumptive Obama kindly explained the new exquisitely condescending talking-down economics: Put that in your pipe and solder it.
Evidently the O-Mighty One was not happy after his encounter with Joe. Hes still willing to talk to Ahmadinejad without preconditions. But never again will he talk to Joe the Plumber without preconditions. Outraged at the way the right-wing whackos were talking up Joe the Plumber as if he were an authentic regular Joe like Joe Biden, the O-Bots of the media swung into action. Vast regiments of investigate reporters were redeployed from the Wasilla Holiday Inn back to the Lower 48.
We need you down here checking out this Joe the Plumber, editors barked to journalists.
But Im this close to wrapping up the Wasilla Town Library banned-book investigation!
Forget it! The Atlantic Monthly is claiming Joe the Plumber is Trigs real father. We cant get behind on this. Get to Minneapolis Airport. Joe the Plumber was seen in the bathroom with Senator Larry Craig.
Yes, but he was installing a stopcock
Look, you went to Columbia School of Journalism. This is what we bold courageous journalists do. Were the conscience of the nation. We speak truth to plumber.
Er, shouldnt that be Speak truth to power?
Thats the old edition of the handbook. Now we speak truth to power-tool operators. Joe the Carpenter, Joe the Plasterer, Joe the Electrician When youre building utopia, you dont want any builders getting in the way.
Alas, as a result of this massive investment of journalistic resouces, no investigative reporter will be free to investigate ACORN voter-registration fraud or Obamas ties to terrorist educator William Ayers until, oh, midway through his second term at least.
Under the headline Is Joe The Plumber A Plumber? Thats Debatable, John Seewer of the Associated Press triumphantly revealed that Joe is not a licensed plumber. In fact, he doesnt need to be licensed for the residential plumbing he does, but isnt that just typical of Bush-McCain insane out-of-control deregulation? It wouldnt surprise me to discover that most of these subprime homeowners got Joe in to plumb their subprime bathrooms. Next thing you know, the entire global economy goes down the toilet. Coincidence?
Joe is now the most notorious plumber in American politics since the Watergate plumbers. And they werent licensed, either. It turns out Joe doesnt even make 250 grand, and its only the 250-thousand-a-year types wholl be paying more (please, no tittering) under Good King Barack. Joe Biden thats Joe the Bluecollar Senator said that he didnt know any 250,000-dollars plumbers in his neighborhood, or even in the first-class club car on Amtrak he rides every night to demonstrate his bluecollar bonafides. On Good Morning America, Diane Sawyer emphasized this point, anxious to give the apostate plumber one last chance to go with the flow:
Well, I just want to ask you now about the issue that was raised, because its been a little confusing to me as I try to sort it out here. To get straight here, youre not taking home $250,000 now, am I right?
No. No. Not even close, confessed Joe.
So whats he got to be worried about?
The heart of the American Dream is aspiration. Thats why people came here from all over the world. Back in eastern Europe, the Joe Bidens and Diane Sawyers of the day were telling Joe the Peasant: Hey, look, man. Youre a peasant in the 19th century, just like your forebears were peasants in the 12th century and your descendants will be peasants in the 26th century. So youre never gonna be earning 250 groats a year. Dont worry about it. Leave it to us. We know better. And Joe the Peasant eventually figured that one day hed like to be able to afford the Premium Gruel with just a hint of arugula and got on the boat to Ellis Island. Because America is the land where a guy who doesnt have a 250-grand business today might just have one in five or ten years time.
Im with Joe the Plumber, not Joe the Hair-Plugger. Hes articulated the animating principles of America better than anyone on either side in this campaign. Which is why the O-Bots need to destroy him. As Obamas catchphrase goes:
Joe the Plumber!
Can we fix him?
Joe the Plumber!
Yes, we can!
For the record, I am not a government-licensed pundit. But I expect theyll fix that, too.
You have the Steyn ping list correct?
Got to love that Steyn.
They can “investigate” and find that he has the typical Joe the Plumber problems too. Ibet Diane Sawyer has problems too.........let’s see if she took her library books back, has parking tickets, divorced all her old husbands, or better yet, let’s see if Barry was adopted..........where is Grandma in Hawaii...........gee that shouldn’t be so hard to find............but no............Barrold the Great might have whoever might ask her a question muzzled or rolling in groceries like happened to the journalist in Moscow who asked on too many questions.............
Mark Steyn and Michelle Malkin are the best and brightest we have on the Republican side.
God. Love and Bless Them. Both.
However. Neither will touch the Odinga thing.
Just Mention it seems to be radioactive. Sean did for a moment and then it dissappeared.
A bottle of Nair is great in removing hair clogs (plugs?)from your plumbing.
OMG What a great idea!
Nominations / votes for best turn-of-a-phrase in this Steyn-o-Gram now being accepted.
My choice: “Speak truth to plumber”.
This is one of the most enjoyable reads I’ve had in a long time...thank you!
“When youre building utopia, you dont want any builders getting in the way. “
lol..great line!
============= Roanoke, Virginia =========================
Americans protest the zero-content Democratic Communist Barack Hussein Obama
at the Roanoke Civic Center Friday, Oct. 17, 2008 with plungers.
No word from any one of the MSM, off busy looking for birth certificate, divorce,
voting and medical records of Joe-the-Plumber, unlike for Obama-the-CryptoKenyanIslamicSocialist Democrat 'Manchurian' candidate for Emperor.
Mark Steyn is one of the most brilliant writers alive today.
BTW, when talking about Obama from now on, I'm going to refer to him as "Bill Ayers' friend, Barack."
ping
You need to straighten out Steyn here.
It does work. If your plumbing (usually in the bath/shower) slows down, pour a bottle of Nair down and let it settle overnight. Works great - plus you’re not using any nasty chemicals (you put it on your skin after all) - can also use it in areas where you wash your pet(s).
He nailed it, as always.
Yeah, that’ll teach Obama about the importance of preconditions...when meeting with plumbers. Man, Putin, Chavez (s**t, his friend is Obama’s pal), Achmin...whoever would love this tool in the White House.
Steyn, you are the big, honkin knot at the ‘end of the rope’ to hold on to.
Wurzelbacher Joe to go AmSoc learncamp.
I vote to Make Mark Steyn an Honorary Plumber for life!!!!
It's really stunning to see how the media is in the bag for Obama. The only "silver lining" about this, is that throughout history, the very first people disposed of when a revolutionary government takes control are the useful idiots that helped them take power. The media seems to see itself as an "agent of change." Well, the resulting governments always remember that "you helped me overthrow the last government... You might just do it again," so they're always the first up against the wall.
Mark
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