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She's happily married, dreaming of divorce
CNN ^ | 8/26/2008 | Ellen Tien

Posted on 08/26/2008 12:53:43 PM PDT by Red in Blue PA

I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn't quite pieced out that I'm not viable before 10 a.m.

..snip..

Maybe one day, marriage -- like the human appendix, male nipples, or your pinky toes -- will become a vestigial structure that will, in a millennium or two, be obsolete. Our great-great-great-grandchildren's grandchildren will ask each other in passing, "Remember marriage? What was its function again? Was it that maladaptive organ that intermittently produced gastrointestinal antigens and sometimes got so inflamed that it painfully erupted?"

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: culturewars; divorce; ellentien; feminism; marriage; mememe; narcissism; oprah
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To: Unlikely Hero

More:

“the more readily we acknowledge the solid utility of marriage (as one friend’s husband put it, “I’m essentially a checkbook and a sperm bank — but I’m okay with that!”), the more ably we can splinter the box of marital fantasy that makes us feel stuck, trapped, obliged. One eloquent swing of the ax and happiness is thrust firmly back into our own hands.”

No wonder all her friends are contemplating divorce. Everyone is shallow as all get-out


81 posted on 08/26/2008 2:24:38 PM PDT by Unlikely Hero ("Time is a wonderful teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its pupils." --Berlioz)
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To: Unlikely Hero

Indeed. Ruined my lunch.


82 posted on 08/26/2008 2:25:08 PM PDT by JillValentine (Being a feminist is all about being a victim. Being an armed woman is all about not being a victim.)
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To: MrB

> If you allow libs to educate them, though, all you are
> breeding are new liberals.

We are homeschoolers.

No gummint indoctrination day camp for us.


83 posted on 08/26/2008 2:27:10 PM PDT by Westbrook (Having more children does not divide your love, it multiplies it.)
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To: Red in Blue PA
He had dropped me off in front of a restaurant, prior to finding a parking spot. As I crossed in front of the car, he pulled forward, happily smiling back over his left shoulder at some random fascinating bit (a sign with an interesting font, a new scaffolding, a diner that he may or may not have eaten at the week after he graduated from college), and plowed into me.

Right, maybe he was checking out a hot 60 year old divorcer. At a minimum his subconscious was trying to run over her. For things like this there are no accidents.

84 posted on 08/26/2008 2:29:11 PM PDT by Reeses (Leftism is powered by the evil force of envy.)
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To: al_c

Sounds like a lot of fun in the sack too./s


85 posted on 08/26/2008 2:29:29 PM PDT by stevio (Crunchy Con - God, guns, guts, and organically grown crunchy nuts.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

I think she’s right about not over-idealizing marriage. It is work, and it isn’t always fun. Been there twice. Don’t plan to go back. Not because its work, and not always fun, but because I could never trust that the next wife really understood that concept. The real problem is that both people need to know what they are committing to and prepare to deal with each other on a kind basis. Sadly, I think that is asking for too much anymore.

parsy, who has learned to love kakuro.


86 posted on 08/26/2008 2:31:20 PM PDT by parsifal ("Knock and ye shall receive!" (The Bible, somewhere.))
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To: Westbrook
Hope you are homeschooling them, too.

They all attended private religious schools. Half my grandkids live outside the U.S., BTW.

87 posted on 08/26/2008 2:32:20 PM PDT by Alouette (Vicious Babushka)
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To: MrB

Yep, there is a large segment of this country that no longer asks what they can do for their country or others, only what can they get out of it. A large amount of blame goes to the pandering politicians, who try to see who can out pander each other. At least FR is an island of some sanity. 8-)


88 posted on 08/26/2008 2:34:01 PM PDT by Left2Right ("It's going to be a long eight years...")
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To: ikka

Won’t work. Will sees his wife all the time. He sees her when she’s at her worst. Then he sees his secretary only when she’s at her best - she’s dressed for work, she’s wearing perfume and makeup, and of course she’s always polite to her boss. He’s attracted to the secretary and he starts something with her. He has unrealistically high expectations because he’s only seen her at her best, and once that idealized image is shattered...boom. He’ll become annoyed with her because she no longer has the image of a doll, and she’ll become annoyed with him in turn because she feels disrespected.

Those kinds of relationships are doomed from the start because they start at the high point and can only go downhill from there. There’s no room to grow.

But yes, I can see how Will would be tempted. I may be a woman but I’m conservative, which means I think like a man.


89 posted on 08/26/2008 2:34:46 PM PDT by JillValentine (Being a feminist is all about being a victim. Being an armed woman is all about not being a victim.)
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To: Red in Blue PA
Nor is Will the Very Bad Man that I've made him out to be. Rather, like every other male I know, he is merely a Moderately Bad Man

I stopped reading here.

Fotunately, I'll deduce from the comment "because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn't quite pieced out that I'm not viable before 10 a.m" ...that this womyn hasn't reproduced. And that's a good thing.

I feel sorry for her husband, unfortunate that he's hated so. And sorry for her as well, to be so consumed with hatred that she can't even see past the minor flaws of her life partner without whining about them.

90 posted on 08/26/2008 2:35:00 PM PDT by wbill
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To: Red in Blue PA

I suffered through the entire piece in a vain search for a scrap of wisdom or insight. All I found were the solipsistic whines of a deeply disturbed and sadly representative urban woman of no discernible substance who nonetheless seems possessed of a sense of entitlement the size and depth of the Grand Canyon.


91 posted on 08/26/2008 2:43:59 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh (A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.)
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To: Unlikely Hero
Somebody needs to get laid. And I don’t think her husband wants any part of that.

Could you blame him?

If my wife ever wrote a hateful screed like this about me, she'd be able to stop wishing for a divorce. She'd have one the afternoon I read the article.

Fortunately, Mrs. WBill and I are happily married, and it's just as good (better, really) than when we started. :-)

92 posted on 08/26/2008 2:44:43 PM PDT by wbill
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To: Red in Blue PA
when he buttons his shirt and jacket into the wrong buttonholes, collars and seams unaligned like a vertical game of dominoes

THIS is what she gets annoyed over? If I was married and my husband did that, I'd just laugh, reach over, and fix his buttons. Turn it into a little moment of affection.

93 posted on 08/26/2008 2:45:48 PM PDT by JillValentine (Being a feminist is all about being a victim. Being an armed woman is all about not being a victim.)
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To: Red in Blue PA
Oh man...

What a window into the feminist mindset. I wonder how many cats she'll own after they divorce?

I wonder at what point her son will become a Bad Man?

94 posted on 08/26/2008 3:13:22 PM PDT by gogeo (Democrats want to support the troops by accusing them of war crimes.)
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To: ZGuy
NIGHT OWL - Sluggard of the Universe

NIGHT OWL - People who get things done while monring people lie in their beds afraid of the dark and things that go bump in the night.

95 posted on 08/26/2008 3:28:33 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (Define yourself by what you do, not by your ideology, belief, origins, genitals, etc ....)
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To: ZGuy
You would agree with my wife's T-Shirt:

NIGHT OWL - Happy and fun to be with

MORNING PERSON - Self-Righteous and Arrogant


That's hilarious that your wife would have a T-shirt like that. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it's all in fun.

If you are a morning person and she is a night owl, I don't know how you guys get along. I was in a relationship some years back with a woman who was a severe morning person (awake at 5:00am, 7 days a week) and it was definitely a point of contention. Then again, maybe the time to yourselves that you get while the other is sleeping helps you get along even better.
96 posted on 08/26/2008 3:31:51 PM PDT by fr_freak
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To: ZGuy

My husband and I used to go to bed at the same time before we had kids. We would both stay up till about 12-1, and get up around 8-9. We worked at the same company and had flex time. It was great fun!

Once kids happened, I was the one going to bed early to wake up early.

It really got bad a few years ago when my husband took a new job that has offices in Asia. During the week, he is usually e-mailing and talking to the Asia office from 12-3am. I hate it!!!!!!!

Vacation is the only time we’ll go to bed at the same time.


97 posted on 08/26/2008 3:34:32 PM PDT by luckystarmom
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To: parsifal

I have a friend who is going through a rough time in her marriage. She married a guy with lots of money. I think he wined and dined her, and she fell for it.

Now, they have 4 kids from 6-14, and she has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.

He’s being a real jerk about the whole thing. He’s done a few things that I wonder if she’ll ever be able to get over.

I think that when you pick a spouse you have to pick someone who will weather the hard times with you. Also, just because someone has lots of money doesn’t mean there will be troubles to endure. Money just doesn’t keep everything away.


98 posted on 08/26/2008 3:39:23 PM PDT by luckystarmom
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To: HamiltonJay
I can tell you of dozens of guys who married younger after their divorces.

Younger, Prettier, and smarter, into families with old money.

Never give the ex-wife crap. The best revenge... is to live well.

99 posted on 08/26/2008 6:03:44 PM PDT by Ouderkirk (I will not vote for Obama not because he is black, but because he is RED)
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To: Red in Blue PA
He had dropped me off in front of a restaurant, prior to finding a parking spot. As I crossed in front of the car, he pulled forward, happily smiling back over his left shoulder at some random fascinating bit (a sign with an interesting font, a new scaffolding, a diner that he may or may not have eaten at the week after he graduated from college), and plowed into me.

Well, I'll give him an "A" for effort, but a "D-" for execution. After he reads this screed, maybe he'll try a bit harder next time.

100 posted on 08/26/2008 6:12:26 PM PDT by NittanyLion
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