On August 5, 2008, at hit ad run occurred which resulted in the death of a pedestrian.
Our forensic experts have concluded a dark red vehicle (insert make here since paint colors can be traced to manufacturers) was involved and after we looked through the DMV documents we have concluded you are the owner of a dark red vehicle (make here again).
We request that you take a day of your vacation time to come to our location and submit your vehicle to an inspection to verify that you were not the culprit.
Thank you for your time.
Multiply this by several investigations and we will have lines of people having to take time off from work to justify to Big Brother that we are Innocent.
We did not do anything so we should submit to any and all requests like this.
Sorry. I forgot to add the sarcasm tag after this line!