What judge would allow this joke to occur in his courtroom!
I would. I would open the session by asking the plaintiff "why shouldn't I hold you in contempt of court?" After the entertainment value had diminished, I would interrupt the rambling, incoherent response and dismiss the case, declare him in contempt, assess all possible fines and penalties I could for contempt, charge him for all possible court costs for this sham, and then read his attorney the riot act threatening him/her with a charge to the state legal ethics commission if he/she ever brings a frivolous case to my court again.