OMG!!!! That’s TOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s MINE!
My complaint about Mr. Barak H. Obama
I pride myself on my exactitude. As you’ll see from this letter, I provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which Mr. Barak H. Obama has been a bad apple for as long as I can remember. Let me cut to the chase: Barak has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that truth is merely a social construct. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, “Because I said so.” I don’t want to overstate this point, but I can reword my point as follows. Barak has little respect for laws or for any behavior that most people would consider requisite for a sustainable information economy. What, then, does “electrophysiologically” mean? It means considerably more than any dictionary is likely to say.
Barak sees people like you and me as the perfect drones for his future globalist regime. In view of that, it is not surprising that I call upon Barak to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to carve out space in the mainstream for brown-nosing politics. The first response to this from his vicegerents is perhaps that parasitism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: There is no excuse for the innumerable errors of fact, the slovenly and philistine artistic judgments, the historical ineptitude, the internal contradictions, and the various half-truths, untruths, and gussied-up truths that litter every one of his essays from the first word to the last.
Barak has already begun turning spielers loose against us good citizens. I wish I were joking but I’m not. What’s more, just the other day, some of Barak’s beastly proxies forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Barak’s blueprint for a world in which fascism-oriented pissants are free to transform our little community into a global crucible of terror and gore. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket I reflected upon the way that Barak’s cabal appears to be growing in number. I pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction yet I keep reminding myself that “Barak” has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone feature simplistic answers to complex problems, I tell him or her to stop “Barak-ing”.
There is a format Barak should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. He might have been in a lethargic state of autointoxication when he said that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. More likely, perhaps, is that someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Barak. The memo spells out his plans to change the course of history. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that all Barak really wants is to hang onto the perks he’s getting from the system. That’s all he really cares about.
Those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still insist that it is important to realize that Barak is unable to remove his mental shackles, have an obligation to do more than just observe what Barak is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad. We have an obligation to examine the warp and woof of his ballyhoos. And we have an obligation to get my message about Barak out to the world. If it were true, as he claims, that he is entitled to generate alienation and withdrawal, then I wouldn’t be saying that if Barak is going to talk about higher standards then he needs to live by those higher standards. Even though he gives flattering titles to his natural distempers, he has been trying hard to protect what has become a lucrative racket for him. Unfortunately, that lucrative racket has a hard-to-overlook consequence: it will provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction any day now. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, would like to go on, but I do have to keep this letter short. So I’ll wrap it up by saying that Mr. Barak H. Obama’s squibs serve no purpose other than to play the blame game.
(Mind you now, I could have written that without the aid of a computer or for that matter, without the aid of the internet and actually used a pen, pencil and paper... but it wouldn’t have been as fast!)
The sad part is, I see posts like this all over the internet and from trolls here.
Hmmm. That’s strange. Your rant makes perfect sense while Aeroflot’s rant is pure gibberish. The rant generator must be able to electromagnetically draw directly from the user’s intellectual capacities.