A Scenario

I was advised that this scenario would not be entertained on anywhere else. The member that I discussed it with couldn’t, or wouldn’t explain why. I was just trying to understand the great disparity between the goals of Free Republic at the About Free Republic webpage and all the policies of Free Republic that are diametrically opposed to the goals.

This very expressive, dedicated Christian conservative member became decreasingly communicative with every attempt of mine, to simply understand the enigmatic aspects of that political website. All communication of this nature ceased when I suggested that the site change its name to Alice’s Republic; because it is an adventure in Wonderland, with all its colorful cast of characters there.

As I was checking out of the rabbit hole, I heard a faint voice from Hotel California, a cowering soul, mumbling what sounded like “Free Republic.” I didn’t catch the screen name of the captive free spirit; but the Red Queen did. And, you know, “Off with his head;” just like Lewis Carroll said. So, they are playing strictly by that surrealistic script in their “Theater of the Absurd.”

This hypothetical is for the sole sake of discussion at Free Republic. It wishes no harm to anyone. It must have been imagined by others, though I haven’t seen anything like it. But something similar must have occurred to many others.

This is not a wish, hope, or dream, or anything like that. It’s just to probe the thoughts of thinkers. And in the current state of political affairs, it seems that anything is thinkable, but the right thing. There seems to be a national aversion to the right thing, coupled with a natural inclination to the wrong things – two of which are running for Tyrant in Chief.

This hypothetical concerns that bipartisan race, between a pair of horses, one of which is two-faced. It may be better to call them thoroughly bad, than thoroughly bred. We don’t want to give thoroughbreds or any horse a bad name; even though horses and those two racers are full of the same. Makes you want to sign-up to kill crazies in the Mid-East, just to get away from the stench of those two beasts. If not, you must be part of the REVOLution, and in a quandary about where to flee for your life and liberty, with your property in tow and hopes of happiness all aglow.

Anyway, both horses, one white & one black, move into the starting gate. There is a good crowd in attendance. The white horse is considerably older than the black horse; and is subject to expiring at any moment. Well, it does in the starting gate. Here one minute and gone the next. It’s possible, isn’t it? Life happens and so does death. And for sole sake of discussion, assume that old white horse had heart failure from too much primary race stress. (This is just for sake of discussion; with nothing but the very best of wishes to all animals. It’s just a harmless analogy used only for purposes of illustration. No member of the animal kingdom is in danger here.)

Everyone wants to see a race every four years; but there must be a protracted funeral procession first. And this extended time gives the owners of the black horse opportunity to think, while the white horse fans attend to funeral duties.

Both owners have lengthy discussions during and after the funeral; and reach a tentative agreement that must be presented to the white horse fans prior to proceeding as agreed. The black horse will run under the colors of the white horse against an old white mare running under the former colors of the black horse. Put another way, the black horse only changed running colors, nothing else.

In times past, this would have been outrageous; but times are a changin.’ And change is all anyone has, or wants, provided it’s only change of pace maintained in the wrong direction.

The young, galloping black horse recently beat the old, loping white mare. So, the white horse fans with the new black horse have a proven winner! And all they ever cared about was winning. It didn’t matter how they did it; because they had a very big tent to please. The black horse fans get to see their old white mare lope again, under their own colors; and regardless of which horse wins, they win. So, it’s a win-win situation for the black horse fans. Will the white horse fans take the magnanimous offer and cheer for their new black horse on race day?

Do you think Free Ripublic, J. Dobson, Rod Parsley, John Hagee, both Limbaughs, Annie Coulter, P.J. Buchannan, Eagle Forum, Human Events, NewsMax, Gary Bauer, Washington Times, Fox News, Weekly Standard, Pat Robertson, Mike Huckabee, Wall Street Journal, National Review, First Things, Christian Science Monitor, Southern Baptists, Northern Methodists, Eastern Catholics and Californian crazies would cheer Obama to victory? The correct, unqualified, unequivocal, answer is obvious, isn’t it? Its saliency slaps you in the face with a liberal dose of bone-chilling reality, in a way you’ll never forget.

They are all in it to win it, no matter what. Like Dobson said, they can change their Collective Mind in midstream. But…there’s that notorious word again, “BUT!” Seems the GOP invented it: “I’m pro-life; but….” Substitute whatever Constitutional text you want for the term “pro-life” and you get the same phrase, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. So, there may be a slight problem with the otherwise obvious outcome of this scenario. It could be the deal breaker – the proverbial last straw on the ungracefully aged Pachyderm’s back.

Have you already guessed it and beat the agonizingly slow hunt-&-peck typing to the all too obvious punch line? If you are a political junkie, you knew the answer from the start. In fact, you recognized the scenario at first mention of the word. But, political novices need a reminding clue of the prominent, defining characteristic mentioned in the opening description of the race horses. The Republican Party faithful would notice it at first glance, while looking the “gift horse in the mouth.” Obama has only one face; and the Party faithful always demanded two! What would you do?

What are they going to do? “What would the brilliant Rove do?” Grow him a conservative face, just for the race!

That’s the hypothetical presented with no harm intended to any party animal, or anyone’s political hyper-sensitivities; and well wishes to all, but contra-revolutionaries.

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding Admin Moderator. By way of introduction, let me just say that I am truly at a loss for words when the Admin asserts that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. He can’t possibly be serious. I, for one, suspect that the real story here is that in public, Admin vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody’s looking, the Admin never fails to create an ideological climate that will enable him to scar little children’s self-image.

In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that the Admin’s disruptive newsgroup postings arose out of an unjust system only to spread more injustice in their wake, proving that there is no end to ignominious irreligionism. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth. Most of the things the Admin has written would be complimented by being called merely “mind-numbing bureaucratese”. We can therefore extrapolate that Admin wants to produce an army of mindless insects who will obey his every command. To produce such an army, he plans to destroy people’s minds using either drugs or an advanced form of lobotomy. Whichever approach he takes, if the Admin had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he’d admit that his perspective is that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. My perspective, in contrast, is that Admin Moderator knows how to lie. It’s too bad he doesn’t yet understand the ramifications of lying.

The Admin insists that honor counts for nothing. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. Isn’t it interesting which questions he dodges and what tangents he goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that his goons actually believe the bunkum they’re always mouthing. That’s because these kinds of power-drunk, out-of-touch barbarians are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they’re doing will improve the world one day. In reality, of course, I like to speak of Admin as “misinformed”. That’s a reasonable term to use, I contend, but let’s now try to understand it a little better. For starters, he can pervert any established ideology. For proof of this fact I must point out that I wonder if he really believes the things he says. He knows they’re not true, doesn’t he? I’ve never really gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from the Admin. But what is clear is that if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that people don’t mind having their communities turned into war zones, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Brassbound Rhetoric. In the meantime, statements like, “the Admin’s behavior is entirely out of line” accurately express the feelings of most of us here.

The Admin is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. Though many people agree that we must work together against pharisaism, imperialism, particularism, etc., The Admin’s dissertations are continually evolving into more and more brain-damaged incarnations. Here, I’m not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I’m also talking about how our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to fight Admin hammer and tong, we must feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because the real question here is not, “What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is the Admin going through now?”. The real question is rather, “How can we break the Admin’s hypnotic spell over unambitious lie-virtuosi?” The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, if everyone does his own, small part, together we can get us out of the hammerlock that the Admin is holding us in.

It seems clear that my life’s work is to restore the traditions that the Admin has abandoned. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that the Admin wants to destroy our moral fiber. Faugh. Fortunately, most people understand that some day, in the far, far future, he will realize that his emotional involvement with blackguardism obscures his ability to see things objectively. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Admin fervently believes that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that by allowing the Admin to destroy our youths’ ability to relax, reflect, study, and meditate we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to send his homilies into the dustbin where they belong. To reiterate the main message of this letter, like an intellectually challenged warlord, Admin Moderator will surely pursue a self-absorbed agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever.

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