I would guess Dr. Evil.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.I wonder if he was amused. I felt sort of like Larry the Cable Guy: I don't care who you are, that right there is funny. But it did not make it into any of the stories, at least that I can recall.
If the movie is based on Mapes' book, it will be a gigantic collection of lies and delusions.