God bless you, your husband, and the kids!
I wouldn’t consider the kids “casualties of war” though. Military and non-military children are faced with many challenges as they mature to adulthood. They aren’t pleasant to go through, but they do teach valuable lessons. The manner in which a child reacts to the challenge is more to personality than the parent’s deployment. All too often we ascribe the behavior to the latter. As a Navy brat and Army vet, I understand.
Perhaps not casualties, but most definitely wounded.
A hard place to be. A hard place. God bless them.