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Man survives head first leap into wood chipper(MN)
pioneer press ^ | 5-16-08 | Associated Press

Posted on 05/16/2008 6:05:36 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB

Police say a man was severely injured when he threw himself into a wood chipper Thursday in Roseville.

Crews were clearing trees in a public area this afternoon when the man appeared and jumped head first into the wood chipper. Workers turned off the machine and called 911, and the man was rushed to Regions Hospital in St. Paul with injuries to his head and torso.

Police are calling it a suicide attempt and say the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

(Excerpt) Read more at twincities.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: crazy; dive; ouch; woodchipper
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To: WOBBLY BOB

A friend of a coworker recently killed himself by taking a power drill with a large bit and drilling himself right through the heart. People are getting more creative with their suicides these days. I guess they want to “make a statement”. Whatever happened to good old slitting your wrists in the bathtub?


81 posted on 05/16/2008 9:04:43 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: OldEagle

I guess due to Product Liability problems, they don’t do exposed fang mounts anymore.


82 posted on 05/16/2008 9:05:57 AM PDT by Deaf Smith
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To: andy58-in-nh
That's OK - my husband loves puns, too. You are forgiven!

Carolyn :^)

83 posted on 05/16/2008 9:11:04 AM PDT by CDHart ("It's too late to work within the system and too early to shoot the b@#$%^&s."--Claire Wolfe)
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To: Lancey Howard
Whatever happened to good old slitting your wrists in the bathtub?

The focus is on legacy these day's and a quiet slitting of one's wrists in the privacy of one's home just doesn't "cut" it any more.

A wood chipper is a greater MSM attraction than a blade and a bathtub....

84 posted on 05/16/2008 9:25:13 AM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: Deaf Smith

Touche’. You got me.


85 posted on 05/16/2008 9:26:18 AM PDT by OldEagle
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To: Lancey Howard

how about lighting self on fire, jumping off overpass with a noose on and shooting self in head on way down to be hit by semi?

never seen that done.


86 posted on 05/16/2008 9:28:23 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (Conservatives are to McCain what Charlie Brown is to Lucy.)
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To: WOBBLY BOB
Police are calling it a suicide attempt and say the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

I wonder how the ruled out the possibility that he just wanted a cheap hair cut?

87 posted on 05/16/2008 9:30:21 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT (Green, but not gullible)
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To: WOBBLY BOB
Police are calling it a suicide attempt and say the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

Or maybe he's an environmentalist, and he was diving in to save the poor tree limbs from being senselessly slaughtered.

88 posted on 05/16/2008 9:30:53 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT (Green, but not gullible)
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To: Sax; stylecouncilor

Yuck.


89 posted on 05/16/2008 9:32:36 AM PDT by windcliff
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To: WOBBLY BOB
how about lighting self on fire, jumping off overpass with a noose on and shooting self in head on way down to be hit by semi?

Nah... That's probably not enough to kill somebody....

90 posted on 05/16/2008 9:34:12 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: trussell
I’m happy to know that alligator didn’t have you for lunch!

Treat them with respect and have dialog with them while showing them some love and compassion and they won't attack. (P.T. Barnum moment)

91 posted on 05/16/2008 9:34:30 AM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ever had a class in Medieval English Lit? As I recall from a particular translation of Chaucer, ‘He/she was wood’ meant that the person went crazy (with anger).

Any time I get to thinking I just can’t take it any more, I’m gonna remember THIS miserable loser. And pick a gun. Or pills. Or anything except for a wood chipper! ;o)


92 posted on 05/16/2008 9:36:13 AM PDT by Titan Magroyne ("Shorn, dumb and bleating is no way to go through life, son." Yeah, close enough.)
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To: ConservaTexan
What? They couldn't get an accurate ring count?

Monitor, meet coffee. BTT.

93 posted on 05/16/2008 9:39:05 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: WOBBLY BOB
how about lighting self on fire, jumping off overpass with a noose on and shooting self in head on way down to be hit by semi?

Maybe tie a big anvil to your feet for good measure.

94 posted on 05/16/2008 9:41:08 AM PDT by tacticalogic ("Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: windcliff
Yuck.

Yum!

That's ground chuck, and it's lunch time.

95 posted on 05/16/2008 9:45:52 AM PDT by Sax
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To: EGPWS
(P.T. Barnum moment)

Sounds more like a "sucker born every minute" moment to me /giggle

What do you think the odds are that this jumper will qualify for the Darwin Award on his next attempt? At 19 to 21 years old...think he has already contributed his DNA?

96 posted on 05/16/2008 9:46:29 AM PDT by trussell (I carry because...When seconds count between life and death, the police are only minutes away)
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To: trussell
What do you think the odds are that this jumper will qualify for the Darwin Award on his next attempt?

I'm too savvy with my finances to place a bet on the odds.

It's a no win bet.... ; )

97 posted on 05/16/2008 9:54:37 AM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: Lancey Howard

not Chuck Norris. it would only anger him.


98 posted on 05/16/2008 10:00:41 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (Conservatives are to McCain what Charlie Brown is to Lucy.)
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To: Pusterfuss
He had a lot of guts.

You have to wonder what someone with that much guts could accomplish if they turned their energies in a more productive direction.

99 posted on 05/16/2008 9:51:15 PM PDT by GATOR NAVY (Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.)
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To: WOBBLY BOB

I hate when that happens.


100 posted on 05/17/2008 1:53:39 AM PDT by beckysueb (Jimmy Carter is the skidmark in the panties of American history.))
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