Man survives head first leap into wood chipper(MN)

pioneer press ^ | 5-16-08 | Associated Press

[WOBBLY BOB]

Police say a man was severely injured when he threw himself into a wood chipper Thursday in Roseville.

Crews were clearing trees in a public area this afternoon when the man appeared and jumped head first into the wood chipper. Workers turned off the machine and called 911, and the man was rushed to Regions Hospital in St. Paul with injuries to his head and torso.

Police are calling it a suicide attempt and say the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

[Siberian-psycho]

maybe it got the best of him, you know if thine hand offend thee cut it off...

[jagusafr]

BWAH! Dangerous laughter!

[Calvin Locke]

There's at least one article I recall about a guy that succeeded at this. NM or OK maybe.

The guy saw a wood chipper in use in a park, and ran for it, discarding his wallet and watch along the way.

I empathized with the DPW employees that witnessed the act, as well as having to clean up afterwards.

I wonder if this latest wannabe was wearing an iPod? "I Fall to Pieces"? "Suicide is Painless"? "I Will Survive"? "The First Cut is the Deepest"? "Everybody Died"?

[FreeAtlanta]

ODing on Altoids

Wash them down with Diet Coke.

[OldEagle]

Is the snake defanged?

[DainBramage]

UPDATE

"A hospital spokesman reports the patient is feeling mulch better."

[Sax]

Is the snake defanged?

Actually, I think it's been stuffed by a taxidermist. :)

[trussell]

I have NEVER been this depressed.

[aculeus]

Police are calling it a suicide attempt

Sherlock lives!

[Lijahsbubbe]

That is just awful. How could he have survived that? Imagine the poor guys who were working having to witness that. Yuck.

[EGPWS]

Go for it if you would MS.

(the ping list that is...)

[EGPWS]

I have NEVER been this depressed.

You have never felt like you were just a chip off the ol' block in your life? ~snort

[EGPWS]

Crews were clearing trees in a public area this afternoon when the man appeared and jumped head first into the wood chipper.

What a bum.

A REAL man would have put some muscle into it and used a Swede saw. ; )

[andy58-in-nh]

The Bulgarian Judge gives you a 7.5 for your mea culpa.

Whew. I thought I did all right in the compulsories but apparently I blew the dismount.

[HardStarboard]

>>>What? They couldn't get an accurate ring count? <<<

It is almost impossible to use chips to determine age by ring count.

Now, if he'd put himself under a big cut-off saw at a lumber mill, age determination would have been relatively easy.

and he would have been successful in his suicide attempt!!

[CDHart]

No I'm not a member. It just saddens me when I think of what happened at Waco and how so many people died unnecessarily. It's not right to make a joke of it.

Carolyn

[Deaf Smith]

FYI: If you tear off one or both fangs off a rattlesnake, another fang will drop down to replace it. Each side of the head has a row of henged fangs ready to replace that which was lost.

*I guess you could pay someone to perform a root canal.

[OldEagle]

Just wondered. Didn’t see any fangs and the guy’s finger looked pretty close.

[andy58-in-nh]

Well, as I intimated to Tijeras_Slim, we do need to have some sensitivity to the fact that a young person tried to take their own life here, and that is an awful thing. I sometimes make admittedly tasteless jokes about bizarre and terrible occurrences as a way of dealing with it, as others do, and I'm guilty in this instance. I guess it stems from the fact that I just cannot leave a good pun alone.

[trussell]

/giggle...cute!
BTW...I love what you have done to your profile page! I’m happy to know that alligator didn’t have you for lunch!