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O...mi...gosh!

You’re dang straght this is a “must read”!

“I am very proud of my Mexican heritage and love Spanish, the language of love. I believe that learning English is a waste of time so I do not bother. We have demanded that the public schools teach our children in Spanish. Who needs English?”

Coning to a theater near you...Oregon ping!

“We proudly fly the Mexican flag in remembrance of the fact that much of the land that is America was stolen from Mexico. Our children are being taught that retaking that land for Mexico is what God wants us to do.

“I am a potential carrier of deadly strains of tuberculosis and other diseases eradicated in the modern world 75 years ago, but which are still rampant in my beloved Mexico. That is why American citizens need to make sure me and my family receive the very best in medical care.

“I do not pay no stinkin’ income taxes to any local, state or federal government. How else could I afford to work for wages that allow me to take jobs from American citizens?

“Our family is on welfare and food stamps even though we are not eligible. We have fake IDs that say we are legal, and we have fake social security numbers to prove it.

“We are saving our pesos to buy a big, beautiful home. But we are worried about the loan credit crisis now threatening to make credit inaccessible to illegal aliens. As with health insurance, we believe the solution is simple: Increase the interest rates paid by American citizens to cover the risk associated with lending to illegal aliens from Mexico.

“We hear that white people want to secure the U.S. borders to keep terrorists out. Phooey! Why would we Mexicans do harm to the land of free tacos, education, health care, food, and housing?

“Our favorite American heroes are George Lopez, Mel Martinez and Hillary Clinton.

“God bless Mexico and the stupid American gringos who want to hand the United States over to illegal aliens!”