Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Reuters ^ | April 22, 2008 | Joe Bavier

[Dumpster Baby]

I’m half expecting Sally Struthers to have an infomercial pleading for more penises in Congo.

She's got another job these days, close to food.

[Mila]

"the Castanza Effect goes worldwide"

It had to happen

[Hot Tabasco]

using black magic to steal ... men's penises

No mention of what they do with them when they get them........

And I used to think that people who collect stamps were weird.

[Straight Vermonter]

I was in the pool!

[RightOnline]

"Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members."

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

[metmom]

LOL.

[dangus]

POsting pictures of Helen Thomas is now considered black magic?

[dangus]

POST THIRTY-EIGHT??!!! An article about shrinking penises and it takes THIRTY-EIGHT posts for the first Helen Thomas picture? Man, FR is off its game!

[dangus]

I think you mean laudly?

[Zeppo]

At least the “Plaster Casters” had the decency to return them when they were finished using them...

[ApplegateRanch]

No mention of what they do with them when they get them

They sell them to transgender females, as the final step in their "transition".

Much easier on their systems than surgery, and no hospitalization or long painful recovery time before putting the new equipment to use.

[Alas Babylon!]

...have him send Bill Clinton to Zaire as the US Ambassador!

Yeah, his is already tiny and shrunk. And bent.

[fieldmarshaldj]

My fault. Sowwy.

[DustyMoment]

I’m going to start wearing a cup from now on.

When ya wear a cup, yer “protected”.

[gost2]

I cannot imagine what piece of driv .... er information could more perfectly and dynamically illustrate the worth and wonder of the World Wide Wait. I am SO grateful I have been appraised of this situation in the Congo. How utterly bereft I would be without it. Thank you thank you thank YOU!!!

[radiohead]

And channeling Willie Sutton, I answered myself: “’Cause that’s where...”

LOL!!! That's funny.

Lemme tell you, stories like this make me glad that my ancestors were snatched away from that God-forsaken place and brought to America. There is nothing about the 'motherland' that appeals to me.

[VRWCmember]

I would have blamed it on shrinkage rather than witchcraft penis theft.

[VRWCmember]

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny,"

Tell them about the shrinkage, Jerry!!!

[skinkinthegrass]

Don't get cocky kid.....LOL!

[skinkinthegrass]

Hillary takes no prisoners....LOL! its true...its' true.