Posted on 04/04/2008 4:55:02 AM PDT by PurpleMan
[Money quote] "The problem with this everything-is-dangerous outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself. A child who thinks he can’t do anything on his own eventually can’t."
(Excerpt) Read more at nysun.com ...
Live far from NYC, but doubt letting a nine year-old ride the subway alone is anything I’d do for many reasons.
But as some have said, stranger abductions are very rare in the US, only about 100 - 130 per year in a nation of 300 million, and about 4 million kids born each year:
http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/psychology/child_abduction/4.html
But because child abduction cases receive so much news coverage, and the coverage of one case can last for weeks and months, and be updated for years afterward, then child abduction can become many times larger in the public’s mind than it actually is.
I was impressed with him, too. Very mature for ten.
Hi Yonkers!
Yes I’m finding 13 very difficult to deal with. Especially when they want to go to mall and movies with friends. I do allow this. Thank god for cell phones!
What part of Yonkers did you come from!
Growing up in Yonkers I was not allowed to leave the block alone. What a kook this one is. I live in rural PA now and I don't let me 13 year old go anywhere alone. We have a running list of Sexual Offenders in the area.America is now the third world. I won't raise children in the states.Tokyo, Seoul or Singapore are examples of places where you can still let your kids walk on their own. America doesn't have to be this way.
I love my Country and will not leave for another.
In Japan, child safety is every citizen's responsibility.Great call. Why don't we have safety patrols?
thanks for putting some prepective on this subject.
“I live in rural PA now and I don’t let me 13 year old go anywhere alone.”
You gotta let go sometime. We live in a city and my son was going places in the neighborhood (up to a mile or so away) by himself at 13.
I went to grade school with your sister. Lived next to the school.
I am in Putnam now. My daughters’ 13 y.o. friend (the one with the “cool” mom that let her go to the mall unsupervised) just reported being raped by a 17-y.o.
No. An idiot with a weak grasp of a good idea.
Children do need to be taught increasing levels of independence as they grow older.
However, nine years old is not old enough to be left alone on a New York subway.
A nine year old is naive and helpless against a predator, even if they have been taught to be independent.
There are unfortunately a considerable number of children predators that exist in this world, and in a large city with a concentrated population, there are likely to be a few in the area.
You need to teach your children to use good judgment, not just give them independence without the common sense that will keep them from harm.
Teaching your child how the subway works so that they could get home if something drastic happened and they were separated from you isn't a bad idea, but you shouldn't turn them loose on their own.
Guess what, Ms. Garfinkle: I’d have been devastated. But would that just prove that no mom should ever let her child ride the subway alone?
No. It would just be one more awful but extremely rare example of random violence, the kind that hyper parents cite as proof that every day in every way our children are more and more vulnerable.
"Random" acts of violence are almost never completely random. Criminals attack those they think won't be able to fight back. They prey on the helpless.
Pedophiles don't attack healthy middle aged men. They prey on children, because children are helpless and innocent.
Yes this woman could probably allow her nine year old to ride the subway alone again and again, and has a pretty good chance that he would get home safely.
Is having a good chance of getting home safely, good enough when considering the consequences?
You do eventually have to start letting go, but nine is too young. My stepdaughter is 8 1/2, and while she is responsible and mature for her age, she is also naive and trusting of adults, and she's also completely incapable of effectively defending herself from an adult.
No, I did not give him a cell phone. Didn’t want to lose it.
This woman is worried that her son might lose her cell phone, even on a short trip home where he would obviously be especially careful with it, yet she trusts him to get himself home safely?
This woman is an idiot.
Teach the kid to be more responsible with objects like a cell phone first, and in a few years, give him more personal freedom.
Japan has a homogenous society and everyone has pretty much the same culture,
so you know what to expect from about every person you meet.
It makes for a very strong community and society when you can expect everyone to have the same standards of behavior.
Too bad it would be “intolerant” here to have an expected standard of behavior.
Well I do let her go with friends. I will not let her go for walks or to the mall alone.
It seems all of Yonkers has moved up the line.
Horrible about the rape. I was even hesitant about the mall thing for a 13 year old. I think she is too young but I gave in because she is with a group of friends. I call her every hour on the hour when she goes.
Yeah, what I see in the “theology” that he obviously subscribes to -
it’s OK for “us” to behave in anti-social ways - YOU OWE US!
My wife’s grandfather grew up in NYC.. he passed recently, but tells of routinely riding the subways, busses and streetcars from the age fo about 6 (maybe it was younger) alone.
Yes it was a different time, the wack jobs were locked up and not roaming the streets thanks the the ACLU.
This is how it should be here, but its amazing how few adults will step up and say something to a child that isn’t their own.... I swear my wife and I are the exception to this rule, we have no problem correcting or aiding a child that is not ours... most people we know just sit and do nothing when they see some kid doing something they shouldn’t right in front of them in a public place.
I don’t know why, fear of their parent showing up and yelling at them? I dunno.. way I look at it, if you want to get in my face because I corrected your child because you weren’t there, you should have freaking been there in the first place.
I deal with too many kids in too many situations to not assert adult authority to any child when I feel its needed. That irks you, then too bad.
Uh, no, they prey on children because they are PEDOPHILES... if they were after middle aged men, they'd be called McGreevy.
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