I totally agree.
I have know elderly parents scrimping even though they had a million in the bank b/c they didn’t want the kids to be mad they spent it.
I have known kids who, into adulthood, made choices (usually bad ones) based on the fact that eventually mom and dad would kick the bucket and bail them out financially with a big inheritance.
And the truth is that there is going to be a HUGE wealth transfer when the baby boomers start dying in large numbers. This will be the first generation that widely carried a bunch of life insurance and which often owned more than one property and which had “living trusts” containing their mutual funds etc.
But it’s such a shame to have one’s relationships colored by money. My parents always brought us up to understand that it was their money, they earned it, saved it, and they were going to spend it, usually just to provide for themselves. We wouldn’t think of having it any other way.
I often hear about saving to send children to college. With five children, I told them they have two choices. (a) they can work their way through college and I would be happy to let them stay here and pay rent (which would go into a savings account for when they move) or (b) I can put them through college, then I will be moving in with them because I will no longer be able to support myself.