Posted on 03/11/2008 5:30:41 PM PDT by Cecily
Dr. Laura Schlessinger has never been one to shrink from controversy, and she leaped headlong into one on Monday when she said that if a husband cheats, his wife may share some of the blame.
“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,” the popular psychologist and radio personality said.
More commonly known as just “Dr. Laura,” Schlessinger made the remarks while participating in one of several panel discussions on TODAY dealing with the breaking news that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer had been connected to a high-priced prostitution ring.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Oh I completely agree with that.
I don’t listen to Dr. Laura but read the article.
Decades, women have been told that their needs are all that matters even in regard to their children/husband/family.
The whole “feelings” stuff is wrecking our society/country, imo. Everything is about feelings, no matter how ludicrous those feelings are.
I came home today, after working and have been working part time more and more lately that it’s bordering on full time, then my husband came home and I said I was so tired. He said “welcome to my world” and I know he didn’t mean that in a bad way. However, we’ve expected men to be more involved in the kids lives, and I know my husband has always been actively involved, and to do more in the home chores wise (well at least in this home outside of just yard work, fixing everything, car stuff) and when does he get a break? Not often and certainly no more than I do.
Granted, some posts here from men seem so bitter but no more than some of the female posts. I think it’s equal now.
My favorite falsehood that women were forcefed is that they can have it all, career, kids, etc. Someone has to raise the kids. Fortunately, we never fell for that and I was able to be a stay at home while my kids were little. And I chose a career that would allow me to be home when they are.
Men are getting the short end of the stick, as you said, imo. Men aren’t allowed to have “feelings” don’t you know ;)
The best sex is the sex between loving and passionate husbands and wives. That you do not seem to understand how much better married sex can be is sad. Not saying the sex in all marriages is good, because it could not have been much worse than in my first marriage. Still. I can’t imagine sex being truly great without the emotional and spiritual bond that is only possible within a marriage.
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Not a good thread for me to post on!
Marriage for me was very very bad....
I walked into it a very weak girl and came out of it a very strong woman....
Think Deloris Clayborne-— without the warm fuzzy moments.
There is no hell like being with someone who owns you body mind and spirit and strips you down until there is nothing left of your soul-— because you let them do it (yes, that’s my shame...I should have walked out, but I believed...Chit, I don’t know what I believed...other than, this was what was my life and hey, marriage was a commitment before God! But that’s when I was still speaking to God).
So yeah, the absolute worse sex I ever had was as a dutiful wife....And the most soul healing, beautiful sex I ever had was with the man who loved me and accepted me years later....
One of the few nice things God did for me was sending me that man afterwards.
I will have to read through it on my laptop after I go to bed.
I’m sure there are plenty of ‘anti-men’ and ‘anti-women’ posts here!
While I wouldn't give the Dr. 100%, she's right on the mark about some marriages. I've witnessed quite a few marriages and wonder how one party can tolerate living with the other. Yes, one of them can make life miserable for the other. They probably should never have married in the first place.
It may surprise you to learn that I can understand why you have felt this way. ust hope that you will eventually understand that you can have a fabulous sex life with a man to whom you are married and it will be even better because you would have more of a sense of security.
I suspect you made a bad choice in your earlier marriage. If so, you can't really hold God accountable for that decision.
I do have a great life, marriage and family but seriously, life isn’t easy for anyone. Life is hard but sometimes we make it harder than it is. We have to have fun, satisfaction, etc. when we can. And a great sense of humor is priceless.
No marriage is perfect, no one is perfect.
If my husband cheated on me, I’d probably shoot him. Ok I wouldn’t shoot him but I’d make his life hell ;) I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be thrilled if I cheated on him either.
I stand behind the sense of humor thing. Gotta have a sense of humor, it makes life fun.
I wonder if Dr. Laura is feeling a bit guilty after cheating with a man who was married with children. He left his wife and kids for her.
Surely, that must have been his wife’s fault.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger#Personal_history
Oh no,
I take totally responsibility for my mistakes....
However, my long term relationship with God is, erm, unique.
I also know that I am one of those people who isn’t meant to be married....No self pity there, just fact.
So what I have is perfect for who I am...anything else would be misery for all involved. I understand what you are saying, but without going into too much detail, lets just say that my life is far better this way than it could be any other way.
I’ve never had sex outside of my marriage so I’m old that way, lol. My husband led a different life and that’s ok. However, I do recall my high school and college years in the 80’s and all the foreplay which made it almost impossible to stop at a certain point.
I don’t know if sex is better with sex toys or in casual relationships beause I don’t know about those. And I don’t know about bad married sex.
This has been an interesting thread.
There is no one answer why MEN cheat, just as there is no one answer why WOMEN cheat.
A decent man, who is not a lout who goes into a relationship from the get go cheating, and wants to remain faithful and decent, is most likely going to wind up cheating because they are not getting what they need out of their relationship, and over enough time will eventually stray. Good MEN and good WOMEN can only take so much before enough is enough.
The biggest mistake that I see in relationships, is that one or both parties let themselves go and take each other for granted. Yea I know its hard after multiple kids and all kinds of demands on your time to stay in shape.. but my advice, particular for women... TAKE THE TIME TO DO IT. If you are in a traditional relationship where the man works and the wife stays home, make an effort to look nice for him at least occassionally. I know raising kids is hard work, but if he comes home to a wife who doesn’t keep the house clean, and doesn’t at least make an effort to make herself presentable, he will cheat sooner or later.
We are all tempted at some point in our lives, some are tempted more often than others, but are all tempted. If a man doesn’t feel appreciated, that’s the number one thing that will push him over the line to say yes the next time he’s tempted instead of no thanks, flattered, but I’m happily married.
And guys, want to keep your woman from straying better make sure you let her know you appreciate her from time to time as well... When’s the last time you brought her flowers, just because? (Valentines, anniversaries and mother’s day don’t count).
There is no guarantee that your spouse won’t cheat on you... some folks are just louts... but I think many situations could be avoided by simple things that get ignored until its too late.
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I guess
I just am more private
Gotta agree there...
Life is hard, very hard, with moments of pure unadulterated joy sprinkled in... you better damned well be able to laugh at yourself, and have a partner who can laugh as well or you probably aren’t going to make it.
Me I keep my wife laughing constantly... usually when she sees me nekkie.
God had nothing to do with the bad stuff. Free Will and all. And not to nick pick but if you don’t believe or talk to Him then how was he responsible for the good guy that came into your life and helped you heal from your ass of a husband?
I’m sorry you had this experience. Sounds awful. Not sure how I would have or could have handled that.
You’ve had an awful experience and that guy should be shot, imo. You came out of it a better person, a stronger person. You won. You’ll never be a victim again. That’s an admirable trait imo. Good for you :)
And the truth is, it WAS a false message, and many of society's problems stem directly from the false prophets of modern feminism.
To learn the deluded mindset of some feminists, see the following link:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Feminism
I’m sitting here thinking of a dozen replies, lol, which ‘I shan’t do’ - to quote a former rude poster.
I fell in love with my husband the moment he introduced me to Mr. Slipper (it’s a joke between us). We barely knew each other but were really attracted to each other but he made me laugh. He did the Mr. Slipper thing and I fell in love. He had a sense of humor. It helped that he was hot and brilliant but the sense of humor was the deal breaker.
Even when we fight, and we do fight, one of us will usually crack a joke and it puts everything into perspective (or at least our perspective) :)
My Dad was the same way. We fought. I was his little girl and he was my hero but we fought then he or I would crack a joke in the middle of the fight and we’d end up laughing.
Sense of humor. Very important.
Now I’m getting a visual of you naked. LOL!
That's because you have no class.
That's because your mother did'nt raise you properly,
or you did't pay attention.
Your words say more about you
then they Say about her.
If I was standing next to you I'd bop you upside your head.
And vice versa?
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