Posted on 03/07/2008 8:03:37 AM PST by DBCJR
New element discovered!
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
It can also turn energy into solid waste.
Don’t overlook buffoonium.
Oldie but goodie.
And make solid money disappear! Whatever happened to gold-backed dollars???
Nevermind.
thanks for wasting my time - try a vanity tag
Because of the lack of a strong bond of the gold element, a reverse alchemy happens when near the governmentum element, gold turns to lead.
At least it wasn’t posted in the science forum.
IGovernmentium will soon asimilate all other elements and take over the universe. The only way some claim to stop it is with more governmentium.
Almost snorted hot coffee onto my screen!
Thanks!
The density of this new element will undoubtedly be increased alarmingly by the addition of the unofficial element called clintonon, the only known element to appear in twin form.
Good one!
You’re welcome (I think!)
Man, you’ve been to some hairy places. Thanks for your service!
LOL....but I have a laptop!
Got a grille plate for that?
Thanks, hope you enjoyed the ‘vacation photos’!
LOLOL DBCJR! Just fantastic. Thanks for the belly laughs!
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