There’s nothing wrong with high expectations, actually if everyone had perfect motives we’d probably have a huge population because everyone would want lots of kids, and everyone’s childhood would be awesome. The entertainment industry would probably suffer, without that steady stream of emotional cripples desperate to get the love they didn’t get in childhood there’d be a lot fewer actors and musicians. Now sure if ONLY people with perfect motives had kids it might reduce the population, but of course that’s never going to happen.
Most people might, but all people don’t. And that creates problems, some are fairly innocuous like a steady stream of actors and musicians, some not so much like an equally steady stream of serial killers. Not necessarily saying all poorly raised kids are going to wind up in Hollywood or death row, but it’s good to keep in mind that these people are mostly the product of bad parenting.
If the first thing a person can think to say as a reason to have kids is to be taken care of it might not be their only reason but it’s probably they’re primary reason. I’m a firm believer that the top of your head is where the real you lives, that first instinct is your primary motivator. And if that’s their primary motivator then they probably won’t be raising the kids properly.
“There’s nothing wrong with high expectations, actually if everyone had perfect motives we’d probably have a huge population because everyone would want lots of kids, and everyone’s childhood would be awesome”
oh well sure...I’m all for that - but it ain’t ever gonna happen.
And we need to be careful not to deny for others what we demand for ourselves.
For ex: - can I honestly say I put alot of thought, maturity, and perfect motivation into my decision-making when I was 20? absolutely not.
Did it turn out well anyways? yes it did.
Likewise, if I hear someone say “I want to have kids so someone will take care of me when I’m old” - I will try to give them them the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe what you are hearing is that this person wants food, shelter,cash, and someone to bathe them and change their bedpan.
But what if the person means more than that?
They could also be referring to companionship, and love.
They may assume it is a given that they would receive warm and loving care only after having given warm loving care to those children first.