We like your company, too, najida, and you deserve more than a life with someone you don't love.
That said, I think the writer has a totally erroneous point of view. She may not realize it, but every marriage is about "settling," for both spouses. They may not think so when they get married, but at some point, each is going to find that their spouse is NOT everything they want them to be, and IS some things they don't want them to be.
If they accept that this is what human beings are like, they can have a long and happy marriage, in which each changes for the better. If one or both thinks that they are entitled to be human, while the spouse is not, then they can be miserable married or divorced and miserable the next time.
In my experience, on this end of life, marriage etc....looking back at my parents marriage, grandparents, other relatives, my own....
There is marrying out of fear-— of being alone, not having what everyone else has, fear of not having a family, fear of not being with someone——because we’re supposed to...all of those are disasters. Because people will bring someone toxic their lives out of pure desperation.
Settling in the sense of adjusting, being realistic, knowing that they are a good person with faults...that’s not bad.
With that being said, the hardest thing for any human to do is to learn that it’s better to be alone in good company, be with someone and miserably lonely.
I’ve done both.....I married the love of my life at 22, settled for a disaster at 31 because I never thought I’d be able to find that kind of love again.
I’ve learned.
So heed me well.... marry only for love, never out of fear.
Funny, every time I'm annoyed with my husband, these threads tend to pop up and I remember how fabulously lucky I am.
Damn it.
You are absolutely right.