In my experience, on this end of life, marriage etc....looking back at my parents marriage, grandparents, other relatives, my own....
There is marrying out of fear-— of being alone, not having what everyone else has, fear of not having a family, fear of not being with someone——because we’re supposed to...all of those are disasters. Because people will bring someone toxic their lives out of pure desperation.
Settling in the sense of adjusting, being realistic, knowing that they are a good person with faults...that’s not bad.
With that being said, the hardest thing for any human to do is to learn that it’s better to be alone in good company, be with someone and miserably lonely.
I’ve done both.....I married the love of my life at 22, settled for a disaster at 31 because I never thought I’d be able to find that kind of love again.
I’ve learned.
So heed me well.... marry only for love, never out of fear.
I married the love of my life at 22, and after 19 years (and a large dose of Reality :-), we’re very happy.
It’s hardly an original observation, but just as important as marrying, not THE right person, but A right person (there are a lot of Right People out there) is being, or becoming, a right person.
The prospects of dating, even if one does finally give up are hopeless.
Is their such a thing as PTSD for the married?