Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
“I’m in my 40’s.”
Same here. Stopped worrying about getting married years ago. Makes holidays much cheaper. /s :) My friends still feel the need to try to “set me up”, and thats exactly how I view it.
I almost settled at 24.
Called it off and then didn’t get married until 31.
Married the man of my dreams.
HE may have settled though... :-)
And it says exactly the same thing, with about 10% of the words!
“More often than not, if looks are at the top of the list one can be fairly certain of failure in almost every other aspect.”
I agree whole heartedly. My ex married me for my looks and it was a disaster. :)
Sentiments like this are exactly what is wrong with society today. “Settle” for a sub-par spouse, “settle” for a crummy political candidate”, “settle” into being safe in business and not taking chances. It makes me sick.
It didn’t work out for HER, actually. I had to move on. She wasn’t what I thought she was. :(
But, hey, at least your humble! And honest! ;p
That's as sad an attitude as the kind the woman who wrote this article has. I love being married. I like coming home to someone, having dinner with him and playing games together or working on projects or entertaining our friends. I didn't marry him because I needed someone, anyone there. I married him because we had the same goals in life, the same strategies for getting there, and because he's a fun person to be with. I wasn't afraid of being alone, either, but being together is just so much more fun.
“You’re right about women now being the aggressors, which for a traditional, romantic gal like myself, makes dating kinda hard when the guys expect to get jumped within two weeks of dating (if not the first night)”
My friends (guys) have told me stories where the gals were upset when something didn’t happen on the first date. Some were ready to be married within a week or two.
Of course he is kinda psycho as well.
No offense, but this post concerns me a great deal. Since when does a career (CODE FOR MAKING MONEY) play any role in the equallity of a true love relationship. Also, because one marry’s someone fresh out of college, does that mean you are “marrying” down? This goes to the equality question. Job and earnings do not hold sway with me when it comes to my mate. We are equal because we have the same goals, dreams, desires, wants etc.... I make twice what she does as a staff accountant for a medium sized company. She is also 15 years younger than me. Does that mean I married down? No absolutely not. Sorry if I misinterpreted what you were trying to convey.
“I have a single, female, 42-yr old friend who is all that you just described.”
A friend of mine is the same. He finally has a girl friend longer than 3 weeks. She isn’t really his type but she’s loaded so I guess he’s settling.
I don’t want someone exactly like me, I like women that complement me on some things. You’re never going to be exactly alike on everything. As long as it’s the important things that you are alike on, that’s all that matters.
That’s the problem with alot of women, they’ve gotten so nitpicky they can’t see the forest for the trees. They have no idea what’s important and what’s not. It’s basically their way or the highway - or they play the victim and make you out to be the ogre before they take everything they can from you and move on.
Been there. Hang in there and focus on being happy without a chick. I suggest online gaming ;-D
That’s why pre-nups were invented...
~sigh!~ Me know.
Fixed! ;-)
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