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Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough
Atlantic Monthly ^
| March 2008
| Lori Gottlieb
Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
click here to read article
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To: a real Sheila
I have a single, female, 42-yr old friend who is all that you just described. If she meets a man who is handsome and successful, he isnt spirital enough for her. If she meets a man who is handsome and religious, he doesnt make enough money. Etc. She has even dated a few guys who seemed to meet all the criteria, yet shed pick them apart on something like He doesnt yearn to travel the world like I do!
I say don't settle.... BUT, you have to have a solid list of what you will not compromise on and be ready to compromise on everything else.
221
posted on
02/14/2008 10:29:28 AM PST
by
TalonDJ
To: Lazamataz
“I’m in my 40’s.”
Same here. Stopped worrying about getting married years ago. Makes holidays much cheaper. /s :) My friends still feel the need to try to “set me up”, and thats exactly how I view it.
222
posted on
02/14/2008 10:29:38 AM PST
by
Horusra
(Conservative > Republican)
To: RexBeach
I almost settled at 24.
Called it off and then didn’t get married until 31.
Married the man of my dreams.
HE may have settled though... :-)
223
posted on
02/14/2008 10:30:18 AM PST
by
a real Sheila
(Have you hugged your "furry best friend" today?)
To: a real Sheila
Thanks for posting that DB link. Quite hilarious!!! And it says exactly the same thing, with about 10% of the words!
224
posted on
02/14/2008 10:31:26 AM PST
by
r9etb
To: Froufrou
“More often than not, if looks are at the top of the list one can be fairly certain of failure in almost every other aspect.”
I agree whole heartedly. My ex married me for my looks and it was a disaster. :)
To: reaganaut1
Sentiments like this are exactly what is wrong with society today. “Settle” for a sub-par spouse, “settle” for a crummy political candidate”, “settle” into being safe in business and not taking chances. It makes me sick.
226
posted on
02/14/2008 10:32:14 AM PST
by
jmc813
(Ron Paul is the only pro-lifer/non-gun grabber left running for President)
To: Dianna
It didn’t work out for HER, actually. I had to move on. She wasn’t what I thought she was. :(
227
posted on
02/14/2008 10:32:37 AM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Why isn’t this in Breaking News????)
To: Bruinator
But, hey, at least your humble! And honest! ;p
To: reaganaut1
Bump
To read later
229
posted on
02/14/2008 10:37:39 AM PST
by
Fiddlstix
(Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
To: Froufrou; rintense
Try not to blame women in general.
I don't. But the bad ones do make it difficult for the good ones.
230
posted on
02/14/2008 10:39:37 AM PST
by
JamesP81
("I am against "zero tolerance" policies. It is a crutch for idiots." --FReeper Tenacious 1)
To: Fawn
I tend to think that married people are messed up.....they are needy, fell out of the norm or afraid to be alone....they cant live life without depending on someone (like the liberals depend on government). That's as sad an attitude as the kind the woman who wrote this article has. I love being married. I like coming home to someone, having dinner with him and playing games together or working on projects or entertaining our friends. I didn't marry him because I needed someone, anyone there. I married him because we had the same goals in life, the same strategies for getting there, and because he's a fun person to be with. I wasn't afraid of being alone, either, but being together is just so much more fun.
231
posted on
02/14/2008 10:41:05 AM PST
by
JenB
To: rintense
“You’re right about women now being the aggressors, which for a traditional, romantic gal like myself, makes dating kinda hard when the guys expect to get jumped within two weeks of dating (if not the first night)”
My friends (guys) have told me stories where the gals were upset when something didn’t happen on the first date. Some were ready to be married within a week or two.
Of course he is kinda psycho as well.
To: Diana in Wisconsin
No offense, but this post concerns me a great deal. Since when does a career (CODE FOR MAKING MONEY) play any role in the equallity of a true love relationship. Also, because one marry’s someone fresh out of college, does that mean you are “marrying” down? This goes to the equality question. Job and earnings do not hold sway with me when it comes to my mate. We are equal because we have the same goals, dreams, desires, wants etc.... I make twice what she does as a staff accountant for a medium sized company. She is also 15 years younger than me. Does that mean I married down? No absolutely not. Sorry if I misinterpreted what you were trying to convey.
To: JamesP81
I don't know if I'm quite part of this club yet, but I'm filling in the membership form even as we speak. And I'm only 4 years removed from college
I did not date and just focused on being happy with life as it was. I met the one woman for me here on free republic after I had been out of college 4 or 6 years (depending on how you count it). My advice is:
1: Get happy with where you are in life either by changing things or changing your attitude as needed.
2: Have a hard and fast list of what you would HAVE to have it a woman so you will know what you want when you see it and not get caught up emotionally and then have a messy breakup later.
3: Make your FR profile detailed ;p
I met my wife-to-be in a thread here and then clicked her profile to find out more. Then, liking what I saw, I PMed her and the rest is history. I still have the exact thread bookmarked. It worked because I knew what I was looking for (had a list) and knew it when I saw it. So I tend to think it is is not so much about how hard you look as being content and settled and knowing what you want for if you do run across it. That lets you be happy where you are but not feel like you have given up 100%.
234
posted on
02/14/2008 10:44:25 AM PST
by
TalonDJ
To: a real Sheila
“I have a single, female, 42-yr old friend who is all that you just described.”
A friend of mine is the same. He finally has a girl friend longer than 3 weeks. She isn’t really his type but she’s loaded so I guess he’s settling.
To: TalonDJ
I don’t want someone exactly like me, I like women that complement me on some things. You’re never going to be exactly alike on everything. As long as it’s the important things that you are alike on, that’s all that matters.
That’s the problem with alot of women, they’ve gotten so nitpicky they can’t see the forest for the trees. They have no idea what’s important and what’s not. It’s basically their way or the highway - or they play the victim and make you out to be the ogre before they take everything they can from you and move on.
236
posted on
02/14/2008 10:48:33 AM PST
by
Free Vulcan
(Don't think I can vote for you John, I'm feelin' like a maverick.)
To: Lazamataz
Been there. Hang in there and focus on being happy without a chick. I suggest online gaming ;-D
237
posted on
02/14/2008 10:48:46 AM PST
by
TalonDJ
To: Free Vulcan
That’s why pre-nups were invented...
238
posted on
02/14/2008 10:50:00 AM PST
by
LucyT
To: JamesP81
To: Bruinator
"Its not just that, but sex without love is
vacant still fun."
Fixed! ;-)
240
posted on
02/14/2008 10:51:07 AM PST
by
Ignatz
( RENT THIS SPACE!)
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