Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearbymothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadnt met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
Ah, this is the dream, I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: wed both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, wed be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably wont tell you its a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, shell say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
Its a question to ask yourself.
After the last two nights, I say this is true. :>))
I understand that, but you’re leaving out the obvious: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Good advice.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in that feeling. Thanks for the confirmation that I’m not crazy.
Erm,
a,
no....
Not the ones that I’m talking about-—
The biggest common denominator is they are very good in bed (seems to be a common complaint amoungst even freeper wives-— some guys just don’t get what good sex is to a woman)
The guys in these books do.
Then I guess I'm not self respecting.
I kinda like my own company :)
Those are the types to be very afraid of. They are using the sex to pin you down, possess you and will make your life miserable when you spurn them.
We are not talking about looks at all. I am talking about each person as a human being and the values they live by.
btw, beauty maybe in the eye of the beholder but ugly, is to the bone.
Great observation.
Oh,
and these guys are bloody, muddy, hairy, scarred macho....we ain’t talkin’ suits (OK, so I just read all of JRW’s BDB over the weekend).
Ugly IS to the bone. And very often it is the most physically beautiful who are the ugliest inside.
“They are using the sex to pin you down, possess you and will make your life miserable when you spurn them.”
You are 100% correct and it is definitely a lessoned learned. I will never repeat that mistake again.
Perhaps, but you will hardly find many guys who will sacrifice their lives because they won’t ‘settle’ for less then their ‘Playboy Centerfold Dream Girl’.
Pat yourself on the back, you are the only one who got it. That's what's missing from all of these threads - the fundamental truth that you can't change anyone else, you have to change yourself. By doing so you will naturally attract people more like the improved you into your life, and naturally repel the problem people. If you think your life is going to be made better by someone else if you can just trick them into liking you long enough to put a ring on your finger, there's no hope for you. You can't trick even the densest person into loving you for more than a few months. You have to continue to grow and be worthy of it. Love is a decision you have to make all over again each morning - but nobody wants to accept that.
And sitting around complaining about how bad the opposite sex behaves just guarantees that you will attract nothing but spectacularly bad specimens. ;)
Guys are not born knowing that. They need hints. Of course communication is key. If you ain’t talking about the issue then it is not changing.
Again,
an observation-— a good friend and I have had very similar lives. She’s married, but it’s a huge struggle for her to be happy in marriage, her basic instinct is for seperation-— her hubby can’t fathom why marriage isn’t the perfect state. But he got it honest....
Her FIL is someone who married purely to have a ‘female in the house’....he could not stand being alone after his wife died. So he dated and he found a woman who wanted to be married.
Sadly, he was this super-modern, neat, everything in it’s place person and he’s found himself married to a woman who loves doilies and pot pourri. He’s miserable. But he married out of fear.
The reasons for marriage is far more important than the emotions.
If anyone were, for example, presented with a contract, a court supported feature of which was one party could, at any time, shoot the other party dead with no consequences, the reluctance to enter into it would increase with the body count.
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