My son was a very early talker; complete sentences when he was 18 months. He started talking at about a year and mimicked EVERYTHING his slightly older sister (by 18 months) said, who was really just taking off on the talking thing herself, and I think that’s what helped.
I was astounded at the thought processes and reasoning ability an 18 month old was capable of. You could carry on conversations with him. He knew the sound of every vehicle with a motor and generally what it was.
So many times when toddlers act up, people try the soothing talk and reasoning with them and the kids just bury their heads and pull the shy act, like they don’t understand. Their only problem is expressing themselves verbally, it’s not usually comprehension.
Well, when I work nursery in church and some kid pulls that, I look them in the eye and tell them that I know they can understand me and they’d better stop it now because their act isn’t going to work with me. I’ve actually gotten dirty looks from these kids. And they do go off and find something else to do. This is especially true once they hit two.
Some friends have some "spirited" little 3 yr old boys. They are of the "don't break their spirit" parenting model.
The parents do get embarrassed when they won't behave or obey. But if I'm there, I'll pick the little "free spirits" up, set them in front of their parent, and say firmly "obey your mom/dad". Yeah, they glare at me, so they FULLY understand what's going on.
I’m waiting to find and marry Miss Right so I’m not a dad yet but my limited experience with young kids is that they are indeed QUITE aware of their own selfishness at such an age. Just as you indicate.
And out here in CA one evil useful idiot in the Legislature is trying to ban parental spankings until age three!
Meanwhile, earlier today I heard on a talk show the tidbit tha the average toddler hears the word “No” 400 times a day. I’d say if the parents have to say no that much, they don’t have an environment that’s kid-friendly in the first place. How is a kid to become positive and willing to take risks if they hear NO 400X daily? Ungh.