Posted on 01/31/2008 2:57:56 AM PST by TigerLikesRooster
The fixings are out.
I didn’t even know they sold sandwiches.
I’ve seen the pastries and CD’s by over the hill or never even going to see the hill “artists” but no sammies.
Four bucks for a cup of coffee?
They don't explain how getting rid of the sandwiches will increase profit...
takes longer in line to wait behind somebody getting that kind of order if you’re only looking for coffee.
Wonder if Starbuck customers have used up all the funds from their Home Equity ATM, and are now cutting back?
I don’t really care for starbucks coffee, too strong.
But it’s their yuppie ass attitude that keeps me away from them.
Dunkin Donuts is the preferred.
But when an economic slowdown happens, you decide to trim the product portfolio rather than trim the price. Makes me wonder about the senior management at Starbucks.
Once again... a Starbucks moment with Jackie Mason
Jackie Mason’s take on Starbucks.....
You want coffee in a coffee shop, that’s 60 cents. But at Starbucks, if it’s Cafe Latte: $3.50. Cafe Creamier: $4.50. Caffe Suisse: $9.50. For each French word, another four dollars. Why does a little cream in coffee make it worth $3.50?
Go into any coffee shop; they’ll give you all the cream you want until you’re blue in the face. Forty million people are walking around in coffee shops with jars of cream: “Here’s all the cream you want!” And it’s still 60 cents. You know why? Because it’s called “coffee.”
You want cinnamon in your coffee? Ask for cinnamon in a coffee shop; they’ll give you all the cinnamon you want. Do they ask you for more money because it’s cinnamon? It’s the same price for cinnamon in your coffee as for coffee without cinnamon - 60 cents, that’s it.
But not in Starbucks. Over there, it’s Cinnamonnier - $9.50. You want a refill in a regular coffee shop, they’ll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead. You can come in when you’re 27 and keep drinking coffee until you’re 98. And they’ll start begging you: “Here, you want more coffee, you want more, you want more?”
Do you know that you can’t get a refill at Starbucks? A refill is a dollar fifty. two refills, $4.50. Three refills, $19.50 So, for four cups of coffee - $35.00. And it’s burnt coffee. It’s burnt coffee at Starbucks, let’s be honest about it. If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you call a cop. You say, “It’s the bottom of the pot. I don’t drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it’s burnt at Starbucks, they say, “Oh, it’s a blend. It’s a special bean from Argentina.....” The bean is in your head.
And there’re no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they have these high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven’t been on a chair that high since you were two. Seventy-three year old Jews are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the top, they can’t even drink the coffee because there are 12 people around one little table, and everybody’s saying, “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.....” Then they can’t get off the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles, “Mister, could you get me off this?”
Do you remember what a cafeteria was? In poor neighborhoods all over this country, they went to a cafeteria because there were no waiters and no service. And so poor people could save money on a tip. Cafeterias didn’t have regular tables or chairs either. They gave coffee to you in a cardboard cup. So because of that you paid less for the coffee. You got less, so you paid less.
It’s all the same at Starbucks - no chairs, no service, a cardboard cup for your coffee - except in Starbucks, the less you get, the more it costs. By the time they give you nothing, it’s worth four times much.
Am I exaggerating? Did you ever try to buy a cookie in Starbucks? Buy a cookie in a regular coffee shop. You can tear down a building with that cookie. And the whole cookie is 60 cents. At Starbucks, you’re going to have to hire a detective to find that cookie, and it’s $9.50. And you can’t put butter on it because they want extra. Do you know that if you buy a bagel, you pay extra for cream cheese in Starbucks?
Cream cheese, another 60 Cents. A knife to put it on, 32 cents. If it reaches the bagel, 48 cents. That bagel costs you $312.
And they don’t give you the butter or the cream cheese. They don’t give it to you. They tell you where it is. “Oh, you want butter? It’s over there. Cream cheese? Over here. Sugar? Sugar is here.” Now you become your own waiter. You walk around with a tray. “I’ll take the cookie. Where’s the butter? The butter’s here. Where’s the cream cheese?
The cream cheese is there.” You walked around for an hour and a half selecting items, and then the guy at the cash register has a glass in front of him that says “Tips.”
You’re waiting on tables for an hour, and you owe him money? Then there’s a sign that says please clean it up when you’re finished.
They don’t give you a waiter or a busboy. Now you’ve become the janitor. Now you have to start cleaning up the place. Old Jews are walking around cleaning up Starbucks. “Oh, he’s got dirt too? Wait, I’ll clean this up.” They clean up the place for an hour and a half.
If I said to you, “I have a great idea for a business. I’ll open a whole new type of a coffee shop. A whole new type. Instead of 60 cents for coffee I’ll charge $2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and $5.50. Not only that, I’ll have no tables, no chairs, no water, no busboy, and you’ll clean it up for 20 minutes after you’re finished.” Would you say to me, “That’s the greatest idea for a business I ever heard! We can open a chain of these all over the world!” No, you would put me right into a sanitarium.
Starbucks can only get away with it because they have French titles for everything, bastard sons-of-a-bitches. And I say this with the highest respect, because I don’t like to talk about people.
Meanwhile, Panera is eating their lunch!
A better restaurant with better coffee, IMO.
LOL Jackie Mason pwnz Starbucks!
find a cup of coffee for 60 cents.
“Boint coffee”
I cant get you-tube here at work, but if you google it you can see the video and it is so much better with the NY pronunciations.....
Thanks. That’s funny!
Uh, yeah... I just realized I have a 30 year mortgage on the coffee I drank last year...
That’s a pretty good rant.
On another note, I find it somewhat funny that we have 2 Starbucks within 500 feet of each other in our little town here. One is inside a Safeway and the other is a freestanding one in the same shopping center. Both seem to do enough business to not compete with one another.
I thought one only saw such things in a big city. :)
That's easily the most flagrant abuse of the word "courage" since the salad days of Dan Rather.
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