I have no doubt in my mind that us humans are contributing to global warming (AGW). The problem is that, so far, AGW has been “scientifically proven” to be a significant and growing contributor to global warming only by the rants of politically correct global warming alarmists as opposed to by the consistent results of repeatable, scientific-method based experiments.
This was originally written by someone who was annoyed by "Good Times" Virus hoax emails flooding his inbox.
I changed "Good Times" to "Global Warming."
LISTEN UP!
Global warming will ease your hard drive. Not the data, but your actual hard drive! Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Global warming will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Global warming, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Global warming will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Listen to me. Global warming does not exist.
It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If anyone else bothers me with fearmongering concerning Global warming, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.
Lies, dity lies and more lies..
If one does any serious research into the dogma of the international leftist religion of man caused global warming,one will find that this fraudulent faith bears a striking resemblence to the doctrine of that other phoney Church called Scientology.
Their methods of crushing even empiracaly proven points of dissent are identical—”we have both our consensus and agenda,more facts are unecessary and those with opposing views are outliers fit only to be shunned.”
Both religions are very good at brainwashing public figures as well.Scientology sickens the minds of entertainers while the Church of Climate Change corrupts the brains of politicians.
Well,at least when the socialist environmentalist extremists take over we will green gulags.
Apparently Newsweek is suggesting (that subtle, "nuanced" form of journalizm) that the sun takes it personally when global warming is denied and gets substantially hotter in retaliation for the snub.
Global warming on Free Republic
The UK has agreed to build 20,000 wind turbines within 12 years some 7,000 of them real large ocean based ones. Like building more that one Eiffel Tower every day. Like this is going to happen.
When I was young, everone in our area had coal furnaces, a burn barrel out back for garbage, burned their leaves, and nobody recycled. With all that their was no global warming. I guess we should go back to doing those things.
