Posted on 01/24/2008 12:05:43 PM PST by CarrotAndStick
NEW YORK: Fighting with your spouse can actually be good for your health with people who bottle it all up found to die earlier, a new study shows.
Researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health and its psychology department released preliminary findings after 17 years of following 192 couples.
The couples fell into four categories: where both partners expressed anger when they felt unfairly attacked, where neither partner expressed their anger, and one category each for where the wife suppressed her feelings and where the husband did so.
"I would say that if you don't express your feelings to your partner and tell them what the problem is when you're unfairly attacked, then you're in trouble," said Ernest Harburg, lead author of the study, in an interview.
The study found that those who kept their anger in were twice as likely to die earlier than those who don't.
There were 13 deaths in the group of 26 pairs where both partners suppressed their emotions, as opposed to only 41 deaths in the remaining 166 pairs. "When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict," Harburg said.
"Usually nobody is trained to do this. If they have good parents, they can imitate, that's fine, but usually the couple is ignorant about the process of resolving conflict."
Harburg said resentment was the real threat - and suppressing anger led to resentment.
He said it is the resentment that interacts with any medical vulnerabilities, a person might have, increasing their chances of succumbing to that medical problem.
"It's healthy to recognise that you're being attacked unfairly and it's even more healthy to speak up and to talk about it and try to resolve the problem if you want to live longer," said Harburg.
This study comes within a week of a survey that said that it is the price of divorce that is holding many couples together.
In a survey of married men and women in Britain, the majority of wives - 59% - said they would divorce immediately if their future economic security was assured.
Among both sexes, more than one in ten wished they had married someone else. The survey found than half of husbands thought their marriage was "loveless". Relationship experts in the United Kingdom have warned couples to avoid getting stuck in a rut - or risk the trauma of divorce.
This is a little like the people that say vegetarians live longer — to which I say, why would I want to live longer when I’m eating only vegetables? Just end it already.
Additionally — why would someone constantly fighting with their spouse want to live LONGER?
H
LOL, I don't think so.
Why just today I told the little lady that her skull was thicker than mine.
Off to the races. We'll live to 250 years! Thanks to FR for providing fodder.
I’m going to live to 100!
.......and the make-up sex is excellent.......te...hehehehe!
I think it depends on the kind of fighting you’re doing. If you are just getting your junk out in the open, fine... but if its the kind of to-the-death over a nickle and you are the worst p-o-s on the planet kind of crap I lived with for 7 years.... no way. That kind of fighting will kill you.
It’s more like those who say the meanest, most ornery people live longest.
You don’t even need to make up ... angry sex works well, too.
H
I’m glad this article came out. I’m going to save a fortune - no more vitamins & minerals, no more wasteful trips to the doc, no drugs, cheaper cuts of meat, etc., etc. Nope, not after this article - my wife & I are going to live a LONG time. Heck, I’m going to cancel the life insurance - why bother if we know that 120 is the lower end of our life expectency?
XXX-42 and his alleged spouse will be around forever.
That makes me want to hit myself with an ashtray.
You're just saying that because you don't respect me anymore. Jerk.
If you want to live to be 150, FreepMail me your street address and I will FedEx you my wife.
What if you neither fight nor...Um...you know...?
>> Just and long as it’s consensual
Duh. If it ain’t consensual — you ain’t staying married for long.
>> and her name isn’t Laurana Bobbett.......
I’d bet that woman will never again be married.
H
‘anymore’?
Maybe it just seem longer.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.