I don't know how you would put that in Japanese, but it would be very entertaining at least, for most Japanese readers, who want to gain some idea about what it has come to in largely indifferent, dumbed-down, opiated Britney Spears 24/7 Middle America while the North Koreans--who can survive weeks upon end on tree bark--are ready to launch chems and bios at hundreds of thousands of American servicemen, civilians and Japanese in the archipelago due to large unnoticed policies that would make Neville Chamberlain smile.
Maybe it would be:
米国の国家倒産時計により秒読み問題に普通なアメリカ人家庭が恐ろしい表情をしながらジャンクフードをマイクローウェブをして幻いい豪華な6LDKセカンドハウスで来る日が来るまでに情けなく待っているだけに過ぎない。