Phobia Catalogue Reveals Bizarre List Of Fears

The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 1-10-2008 | Ben Farmer

[Our man in washington]

“To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.”

—Jack Handy

[Old Professer]

Do you throw up every morning?

I am 67 and I have thrown up three times since I was 14.

[jdub]

I have a friend who is having surgery tomorrow to hopefully remedy a situation he has that sometimes causes him to be unable to swallow, which results in his having to throw up or choke. He says it doesn’t happen often, but is embarrassing when it does, so he doesnt eat in front of other people.

[Jaysun]

Do you throw up every morning?

I am 67 and I have thrown up three times since I was 14.

I was kidding. No, I don't throw up every morning. That's crazy, throwing up on an empty stomach.

[Jaysun]

Do you throw up every morning?

I am 67 and I have thrown up three times since I was 14.

I was kidding. No, I don't throw up every morning. That's crazy, throwing up on an empty stomach.

[Jaysun]

I have a friend who is having surgery tomorrow to hopefully remedy a situation he has that sometimes causes him to be unable to swallow, which results in his having to throw up or choke. He says it doesn’t happen often, but is embarrassing when it does, so he doesnt eat in front of other people.

I know this guy that works for a concrete company and when he gets really mad he pukes. I've seen him start cursing at someone and just spill his stomach in mid sentence.

[dashing doofus]

Personally, I have a strong fear of styrofoam, and of the Clintons.

When someone opens a box containing stryrofoam, I cover my ears and quickly leave the room. I can’t take the screeeeeeching sound styrofoam makes.

I never really put the two together, until now, but after listening to a few recent Hillary speeches, I believe my two phobias are connected and completely consistent phobias.

[dashing doofus]

I am 67 and I have thrown up three times since I was 14.

You know the exact number of times you have thrown up over the past 53 years???! Damn. ;-)

[GOP_Party_Animal]

What if you had a fear of Martian moons? Would it be Phobosphobia?

[bagman]

My sister was bit by a moose! Ja!

[TASMANIANRED]

You are on a roll and are a wit to boot. 5 thumbs up.

[Old Professer]

Age 14, bad spaghetti; age 22, finished the night with sweet vermouth; age 31, dirty keg dispenser in step-father’s refrigerator.

[TrueKnightGalahad]

So thinking that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" would be phobiaphobia?

[blam]

"When I worked in Manhattan, I knew a woman that was so afraid of sunlight that she wore some type of white hat, with lace in the front. She was afraid her skin would wrinkle and she would get skin cancer. She was a deathly shade of pale."

A Whiter Shade Of Pale

[Titan Magroyne]

Wonder what the term is for the fear of Democrats? Dunno, but the fear of RINOs is faux-bia.

[AxelPaulsenJr]

Dunno, but the fear of RINOs is faux-bia.

Ah...You're gonna have to help me out here, what is a "faux-bia".

[AxelPaulsenJr]

Sorry, finally found the black slang dictionary. “Fake-b*tch”?

[Titan Magroyne]

"Faux" is a French word for "fake" and is pronounced "foe." So fauxbia, if such a word existed, would sound exactly like phobia.

faux fur fake fur
faux leather "pleather" (polyester+leather)
...and I know there are other common occurences of faux as an idiom in American English, but am verklempt to cite them at the mo'.

Sorry, just a play on words that slams RINOs for being what they are.

[Titan Magroyne]

...or rather, what they are not.