[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

My mom was a prison guard and she told me if I got arrested for drinking or drugs she would see me when her shift came up.

She told me shew would not pay for bail or a lawyer, I was on my own.

Good thing I NEVER got caught. Ha ha ha

[This Just In]

Your mother seems to be reasonable woman by threatening you with just abandonment. My mother wasn’t a prison guard. She would have put me six feet under without hesitation, and she wasn’t even an undertaker either.

I am here today as well because I never got caught. :^)