however, we must give HOPE to people that do have devastating diagnosises ...my own mother died a slow death because there was nothing that could be done, supposedly....
in retrospect, I wish the doctors had tried something just to give my mom a sliver of hope, dim as it was, instead of just "you're going to die" and that's it...
Hospice was of no help...their attitude was you can't have IV's, don't eat, don't drink, and they were stingy with the meds as well..
my mom got to the point of not wanting to do anything because what was the point....
If we had to do it all over again......*sigh*...
Hope is a wonderful thing....it can carry you thru a lot of bad times...
“Hospice was of no help...their attitude was you can’t have IV’s, don’t eat, don’t drink, and they were stingy with the meds as well..”
Not to cause you further pain, but many hospices aren’t like this at all. The main hospice in my area is absolutely great by everything I’ve heard.
We just went through the same situation with my father this past year. When I was pleading with one doctor, I said exactly what you just posted: that "hope" is so important. My father just wanted a chance.
My dad did everything the doctors told him to. They promised him that following surgery, he would be treated for his cancer. The surgery went wrong, and he ended up with a life-threatening infection. For months, he fought the infection and miraculously survived. But, by then, the doctors said the cancer had spread too far and it was too late to treat him. He was devastated. We refused to give up on him. We argued and argued with the doctors. My dad pleaded with the doctors to try something. He just wanted to be given the chance he was promised. They all refused.
Finally, months later, we found two doctors willing to try a treatment, however slim the hope, and - guess what - the hospital's ethics committee tried to stop them. So we ended up fighting the so-called "ethics" committee. Finally, he was given one treatment, but by then it was far too late, and he passed away.
This is the way things are today: Hospitals and doctors are willing to fight for your right to refuse treatment and to die. But, they won't fight for your right to try a treatment. They'll fight to deny you that right. That's been our experience.
My father was in home hospice care for 27 months and died without pain, in is own bed, with his own family around. The home hospice workers (from the local medical center) were excellent; they promptly and willingly supplied all the meds he needed to be pain-free and comfortable.
I think what my dear father received is what everyone deserves.
Hospice was a nightmare when my stepfather was dying. They lied to my mother before he was admitted and then denied him food, water and everything but pain medications after he was admittted. My mother is still in agony over his death and the way it happened almost 2 yeears after the fact.
I would never give a cent to hospice and would never commend any loved one to their care.
Cherry,
What is excessive antibiotic theerapy? I have chronic kidney infections and I can’t imagine lying in a bed with that terrible pain while being denied medications I need to clear it.
To me hydration, nutrition and medications for pain and infection are essentials even for those who are dying.