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Julia has three mommies
Oprah.com ^ | January 2007 | Lisa Kogan

Posted on 12/19/2007 11:00:10 AM PST by the_devils_advocate_666

The love of my life is seeing other women. It started innocently enough, a bite to eat, a stroll through the park -- the stuff I never have time for. Then came the private jokes, the pet names, the stolen kisses, the bubble baths.

At first I was crushed. What did these women have that I didn't? Sure, they're gorgeous, but I happen to look very nice in navy; and, yes, they're bright, but I scored unbelievably high on the SATs ... if you don't count the half with all that math.

I told myself it was just a fling, but a blind man could see that wasn't the case. The truth is this: My daughter, Julia, would follow Dina Sotomayor, her nanny, and Lidra Basha, her babysitter, to the ends of the earth, and the feeling is more than mutual.

For a while, I worried that with Julia's grandparents living so far away and her father -- that would be Johannes, my boyfriend of the past 6,000 years -- working in Europe for long stretches, Julia's world would be pitifully small, but then along came Dina with her arroz con pollo, and Lidra with her Kosovar lullabies, and everyone's life took a major turn for the better.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: children; inane; itsallaboutme; motherhood; parents; stupid; upbringing
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To: seowulf

41 posted on 12/19/2007 11:51:43 AM PST by Lizavetta ( Politicians: When they're speaking, they're lying - when they're not speaking, they're stealing.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
The so-called mother:


42 posted on 12/19/2007 11:54:14 AM PST by Lizavetta ( Politicians: When they're speaking, they're lying - when they're not speaking, they're stealing.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
Ah, so when you saw the title did you immediately think “lesbian threesome”?

Totally. Why else would I click on the thread?

43 posted on 12/19/2007 11:57:13 AM PST by numberonepal (Don't Even Think About Treading On Me)
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To: -=SoylentSquirrel=-

that was really unnecessary


44 posted on 12/19/2007 11:57:23 AM PST by RDTF (Remember Pearl Harbor)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
I'm one of those eleven.

I took some retirement paid off my bills and my wife works at home now. I don't say "No longer works." because I get hit for that. I figure what I gave up in the short term will be repaid ten fold. I grew up with a mom at home and I couldn't see my kids not having the same luxury. I wouldn't change a thing.

45 posted on 12/19/2007 11:58:12 AM PST by Bigoleelephant (Lawyers are to America what lead was to Rome.)
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To: Lizavetta

You ahh zee munkey!


46 posted on 12/19/2007 11:58:36 AM PST by numberonepal (Don't Even Think About Treading On Me)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
especially given the forecasts that 15 years from now (when my daughter is ready for college), four years at a public institution will run somewhere in the neighborhood of $129,788.

And should Julia be smart enough to get into an Ivy League university, we're looking at roughly $279,760.

Do the words "NOT WORTH IT" start ringing in everyone's ears for this? I'm half tempted to send my son overseas for his college education. That level of tuition for a piece of lambskin is INSANE.

47 posted on 12/19/2007 12:19:54 PM PST by Centurion2000 (It's only arrogance if you can't back it up.)
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To: Bigoleelephant
My wife will soon be number 12. We are expecting our first early next year and she may return to work if having the baby with her at all times is acceptable. We shall see.

Furthermore, if she had more earning potential than me I'd be the one staying at home while she worked.

48 posted on 12/19/2007 12:23:18 PM PST by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: Bigoleelephant

i have always worked part time, sometimes only one day a month to keep myself up to date. Now that the kids are older hubby and I have variable schedules, we can be off on weekedays to do school things, usually only one of us is working on any given weekend.
Took a huge hit in income to work less, and magnified it by sending 3 kids to parochial school. Wouldn’t trade a minute of it as the kids were raised by mom and dad, not strangers, and I was not deprived of the fun of seeing them grow.


49 posted on 12/19/2007 12:27:46 PM PST by Mom MD (The scorn of fools is music to the ears of the wise)
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To: goodnesswins

I watch that little clip just to remind myself that I’m not alone. It never fails to make me laugh.


50 posted on 12/19/2007 12:34:59 PM PST by Melpomene
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To: Mr. Jeeves
EXACTLY! And I just love this . . .

Oh, Miss Nebraska, what am I going to do with you? The old me would've simply ignored your letter (if one considers consuming 33 mint Milano cookies, two Snapples, and a 6.6 ounce bag of those little Cheddar Goldfish "ignoring your letter"), but a funny thing happened on the way to turning 45: I took a deep breath and decided I'm much too old and way too tired to keep nursing my adolescent obsession with being loved. The need to please has at long last atrophied and set me free. So, lady, this one's for you:

What she doesn't realize is that need to be loved is not from the teenage years, but from the womb and it is especially nurtured in the first five years of life. The people pleasing usually comes from a child that is not given that unconditional love by a stable caregiver (we used to call one of them MOM.). But now unfortunately it is all too common to see not just one nanny, but several as many are college students or around that age and grow up to other jobs or move on. I know three children that have had 5 different nannies before the age of twelve and of course the eldest child is Mommy to the youngest, too. So the oldest is really put upon and has not consistency and childhood because they are the loving parent that is the only emotionally and always present consistency for the younger ones. Very sad indeed. The oldest child doesn't get paid though like the nannies instead they get a hand full of expectation, guilt, and lack of honoring that they also have needs.

Also the going to food is a behavior learned very young as well--often in substitution of a Mom nurturance or someone who is subconsciously looking for the original nurturance/comfort of Mom. Mom and food are inexplicable linked from the earliest of days.

This lady has issues needless to say and just does not get it that she is herself acting out/distancing and her child is paying the price. See how she shames her 'people pleaser' as if is it something to be ashamed of? I have noticed a lot of the hard care 'feminist' type man hating, child abandoning types have a lot of shame about the inner part of them that wants acceptance and love. As if it is a bad thing. When often it is just part of how we are wired.

As a fellow FReeper mentioned in an earlier thread a few days ago: modern liberalism is going against our nature and this is why it must be forced onto others whether through violence, fascist type laws and thuggery in the classroom.

Needless to say if this woman came to my office (if I was a therapist and of course I am not--lol) needing therapy she probably would not come back for a second visit! lol.

By the way I will not even comment about the 'boyfriend'--can't seem to make an official commitment to call him her husband that travels all the time. Not to mention towards the end making the statement that women are protecting themselves from men because the men are violent? Whacked! This woman is a walking projection. She is a mess.

51 posted on 12/19/2007 12:37:34 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
"I will resist a smart-ass reply congratulating you on being one of the 11 remaining members of society who can get by on a single income, especially given the forecasts that 15 years from now (when my daughter is ready for college), four years at a public institution will run somewhere in the neighborhood of $129,788."

Lady, you wouldn't have to be worried about a single income if you were married to Julia's father. But it's possible, even if you were, you'd still be talking about Julia's extended family because your professional life seems to be more important than the early years of your little girl.

Don't get me wrong. I don't begrudge women having careers, I just don't like them putting down, or being snide to women who have decided to fore-go, or delay a career so that they can raise their own children, at least until they are old enough that they don't have to be led around by Mommy-surrogates all day long, no matter now entertaining they are.

Does this women think she's not smart enough to provide those stimulating experiences for her own child, if she delayed her own career for six short years to give Julia her entire attention before she goes off to school for 6 hours each day?

52 posted on 12/19/2007 12:41:42 PM PST by SuziQ
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

Have you ever heard such bs?

The family of father, mother and children will never be replaced no matter how they spin their fantasies.


53 posted on 12/19/2007 12:49:56 PM PST by freekitty ((May the eagles long fly our beautiful and free American sky.))
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To: SuziQ

SuziQ,

Just the opposite. This woman thinks she is too smart and clever. It’s just a pipe dream; not a very good one either.

I suppose this is Oprah’s way of counteracting what has been said of her lately.

Sorry, it won’t work, Oprah. Nothing will ever come remotely close to a family of a father, mother and children.


54 posted on 12/19/2007 12:54:06 PM PST by freekitty ((May the eagles long fly our beautiful and free American sky.))
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
If you can get any further than the portion I excerpted you are better than me...

I would think the devil would be pleased. Then, what's the problem?

55 posted on 12/19/2007 12:56:21 PM PST by unspun (God save us from egos -- especially our own.)
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To: goodwithagun

I respect those who can stay home. My wife and I just couldn’t manage it on my salary. She taught, so she has summers off, and I worked one day on, two off, so I stayed with them a good percentage of the time. Even so, we had to hire a babysitter for a couple days a week. Doesn’t always turn out the way you want, but the kids turned out fine. I don’t think having a babysitter was the least bit damaging for them.


56 posted on 12/19/2007 7:43:15 PM PST by ga medic
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

Congratulations! And yes if she made more money than I, you would be calling me Mr. Mom.


57 posted on 12/21/2007 8:35:41 AM PST by Bigoleelephant (Lawyers are to America what lead was to Rome.)
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