I never took it back to court after the first $28,000 dollars of legal fees.
I was learnt my lessons well.
I didn’t need the total BS and harassment I got from him and his wife and their lawyers(she worked at a legal firm and got her lawyers for free, so it was costing them nothing to create havoc), and it was causing real school and personal problems with the kid.
They’d take her for their night, and verbally abuse her AND me - this to a 9-10 year old. Not to mention denying her food to the point I’d pack her some food so she’d have something to eat beyond the small bowl of spaghetti they would give her.
The real joy was getting the midnight phone calls when she, at age 9-10, was hiding under a bed, crying and begging me to come get her, and dear old Dad could be heard screaming in the background that she was a bitch, he hated her, she was just like her no-good POS mother, and she was just a piece of trash that no one would ever love. Nice, huh ?
I got one of those calls on tape, took it to the judge, and got an agreement that if the kid wanted to come home on any of those nights or not go ever again, it was up to her.
I learned that if I just shut up and flew under their radar, they’d stop the harassment and life would be good again. And, since I was making considerably more money than he, I was only eligible for $400 a month anyhow, certainly not enough to justify the $$$ I’d spend collecting and defending it, while they took my life apart and made hers as miserable as they could. I could certainly afford to pay for her costs and extras, and no $$$ would ever serve to compensate me for court time or his vitriol. He was the vindictive, petty, mean and jealous fool - and remains so today.
To this day - they live 20 minutes away, and they still don’t want anything to do with her, even tho at this point she’s an adult, she’s a lovely child who gets straight As in college, is successful at everything she does, and I wouldn’t need to ever get involved.
You know what - you should just understand that regardless of gender, there are a lot of people out there who use their children to get back at their x-spouse, and they ain’t confined to the female gender.
And please - just because you don’t know “the whole story” doesn’t mean there isn’t one.
I could unload a lot of other “wonderful” things this man did and said to a young child that any sensible person would shudder at. But you and others like you would call it complaining, not statements of factual events.
In your book, being of the female gender convicts me of being a bitter, man hating harridan instead of a rational stater of facts. I lived this nightmare for many years, and it’s a testimony to my common sense that I don’t hate men - unlike your type, who call all women complainers.
And your comment about “the courts are there for you to receive fair justice” - was that meant to be a joke ? This whole thread is about how the courts are UNFAIR and capricious. Did you miss that point ?
As for $100 being adequate - do you think so ? What do you think is adequate for any parent ? Do you think you can raise a kid on $200 a month, assuming equality between parents ?
I am not your enemy. Nor do I desire to cause anyone grief.
However.
It is interesting that an attorney came onto this thread and stated his EXPERIENCE. That experience has taught him that men are the ones most likely to get the worse deal in family courts.
It is interesting that NOT one of the three of you ladies has wanted to debate his FACTS. Why? Because you can’t. The facts speak for themselves! Men lose more often than women. PERIOD.
THAT is and has been my point all along.
You, however, are not wanting to deal with facts, but on personal observations from a limited perspective and based upon your own experiential FEELINGS.
I don't debate "feelings"
You want to make “feelings” the paramount matter, regardless of facts.
So, I made my point.
You don’t like it.
And that’s fine.
But facts is facts.
Now, more importantly, on to your personal story. Not my business. However, it is terrible that people should suffer because of selfishness, foolishness and sin. Those are the three causes of most divorces. I am not assigning blame, again, because it isn’t my business. Nor will I apologize for stating what are known, testable, and provable facts.
That fact remains that in family courts MEN lose more often than women.
Your situation sounds terrible and I certainly hope that improvement awaits your home in the near future.
Again...the same quote as before...
Somebody much wiser than all once said; “It was not that way from the beginning”.