Posted on 12/16/2007 11:20:24 AM PST by fanfan
A day they expected to include waves of grief ebbed back into bitterness and anger for the friends and peers of Aqsa Parvez as they realized they'd been excluded from her funeral.
"They tricked us," said Konnor Williams, 16, who had known Parvez for three years. "I'm very upset and very angry right now. I feel cheated out of my friend's funeral. It's just not right."
Many of Parvez's closest friends turned up yesterday at a large mosque in Mississauga, the Islamic Centre of Canada, for Parvez's funeral. But they discovered the funeral had suddenly become "private," held at a secret location. Some speculated the family decided on the change after the intense attention the case had been given in the media and on the Internet.
Though the funeral was scheduled for 1:30 p.m., in fact it happened much earlier, a mosque official said. They also learned that, by that time, her body had already been buried for hours.
Many of the friends headed to the Meadowvale Cemetery in Brampton, some driven by their parents, only to meet another hurdle.
Though cemetery officials pointed to her burial site on a map, the friends weren't sure exactly which grave was hers, since it was unmarked. At one point, they switched their huddle from one grave to another nearby.
Eventually they hung around the plot that appeared the most freshly dug, around which were strewn fake flowers. One strong clue that it was Parvez's was a small plaque depicting two hands holding a picture of Mecca, Islam's holiest site.
"It's really confusing," Williams said, bracing against a harsh wind. "I don't know how to feel. I'm mad, upset that we don't know if it's our friend's grave or not."
Parvez's shocking death last Monday put the spotlight on the cultural and religious divide many immigrant youth experience in their families. Parvez was strangled in her home and died later in hospital.
Her 57-year-old father, Muhammad Parvez, a taxi driver, faces a murder charge. Her brother, Waqas, 26, was charged with obstructing police and released on bail.
Following her death, friends from Applewood Heights Secondary School spoke up about Parvez's desire to fit in at school, her clashes with her father over traditional Muslim values and those of her school mates and over what she would or would not wear, including the hair-covering hijab.
Outgoing and rebellious, Parvez wanted to wear Western-style clothing, contrary, her friends say, to her father's wishes. She had started to take off her hijab on the bus en route to school and put it back on in the afternoons.
Parvez fled from home twice in the past few months. The first time she went to a shelter. It was well known among her friends that a letter from her family describing how her parents couldn't sleep without her home, and informing her she wouldn't have to wear the hijab, persuaded her to return home. However, she ran away a second time weeks after.
"We were supportive of her during that time," said her friend Jayjae, 17, who declined to give her last name. "She ran away because they didn't let her be who she wanted to be."
At the mound of snow-covered dirt they believed to be her grave, a dozen of her friends hugged. A few cried ceaselessly.
Under that emotion, however, there was fury.
"They're ridiculous," said 16-year-old Shanell Ridgwell, referring to Parvez's family, tears streaming down her frozen cheeks. "I'm sure Aqsa would have loved for us to say last words, just to be there, to say it one last time. But nope. They have no respect for what other people think ..."
"They weren't her family," Jayjae said. "The people who attended here today were. They didn't respect the fact that we loved her, they don't respect that. Someone took a life and now they're taking it away from us."
A couple of the friends made their way to the Mississauga Civic Centre for an anti-violence vigil to remember Parvez, organized by the Canadian Council on American-Islamic Relations.
One speaker explained they would say a prayer to comfort those who weren't able to attend the funeral. "Take mercy on Aqsa," the prayer went, "and on us who are left behind."
It’s a start.
Another male member of the Muslim family practicing the “Religion of Peace”.......
You think it's hard being cynical in this age? Try being all circumspect and diplomatic and patient and stuff! I'm about to blow a gut or something here ....
Yessir, the rest of the surviving family was right on that job of making sure that her father and brother didn't off her. Or not.
I'm sure that they showed her all kinds of respect when they secretly planted her - the usual donations of bodily moisture reserved for those who get their respected father arrested. How DARE she!
Small wonder they didn't want her true friends around...
That's going to be an uphill battle, as the religion of Islam doesn't draw that distinction, any more than it draws a distinction between religion and government.
**Chuckle** Looks like you got yourself in a small firefight on this thread. I've reviewed some of your other posts on this matter, and like the way you don't back down.
Though it pains me to say it, your view is the correct one:
"the private ceremony is the family’s right no matter what"
We can think what we like about it, but that doesn't change it.
BTW - thanks for your service. :-)
Muslims always get a pass until it is too late.
No, this is absolutely not what Islam teaches about how a woman should be treated. Islam condemns violence, be it of any kind or on anyone, like all other religions do. I am a Proud Christian and i have many muslim friends and trust me people they strongly oppose such kind of behaviour. Neither Christianity nor Islam teaches about violence but still we always get to hear about so many horrific stories from time to time. It’s not the religions that are to be blamed for such horrible crimes. It’s solely the individuals who lack religious and moral knowledge that they indulge themselves in such horrible crimes. Their actions are not guided by the religious teachings because, even though i don’t have enough knowledge about other religions other than Christianity and Islam, i can surely say that no religion on this earth teaches about violence and brutal killing or even harming any other living thing even to a slightest bit. It is the people who are so ignorant that they foolishly commit such crimes.
What happened to this poor girl is very sad, very tragic. But it is solely the father who should be blamed for his actions not his religion. Some people become extremists and they commit such stupid crimes on the name of honor and religion. I mean this is really stupid! What he has done is inarguably wrong and unacceptable. He should be strictly punished for his act. But we, as Christians, should try not to pass hateful remarks on any other religion because this is not what our religion teaches us. Christianity is the religion of peace and love for the whole mankind. I mean let’s not be so judgemental guys! Good and bad people are everywhere, in every religion, in every part of the world. We should just stand by the truth and oppose the wrong. We are Christians! We must preach peace, love and kindness for the whole mankind and not hatred! May God have mercy upon all of us! Amen.
Sure, sure.......
“Men take authority over women... As for those who are disobedient, admonish them and send them to beds apart and beat them.” (Surah 4:34)
“Bad hijabi is equal to prostitution, Lack of hijab means lack of man’s manhood.”
Poster’s in Tehran
“If a man and a woman are alone in one place, the third person present is the devil.”
Prophet Mohammed
“A Woman’s Heaven is under the Feet of Her Husband.”
Islamic Proverb
“Even if kneeling to god was not obligatory, wives should have knelt before their husband.”
Ayatollah Mohammad Yazdi
“Women do not have the patience to follow all the complex arguments that are placed before the courts. I know I have been there and seen judges at work, it simply is not a task for women.”
Ayatollah Mohammad Yazdi
“Women are not given the right to instigate divorce because they are prone to emotional and irrational decision making. A husband, however, can divorce his wife at any time he so wishes.”
Ayatollah Ali Moghtadai
“A man loves his son, then his camel, and then his wife.”
Arab Proverb
“Men, beat your women.”
Koran 4:34
So it is just another mere coincidence?
fanfan i think this website can answer all of your questions related to Islam.
http://www.irf.net/irf/faqonislam/index.htm
I don’t have questions.
My last post to you was full of answers, not questions.
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