*coo* *coo* *URP* *POOF!*
Posted on 12/13/2007 5:17:36 PM PST by HoosierHawk
Two Chicago aldermen are calling for fines of up to $1,000 and jail sentences of up to six months for people who feed the city's pigeons.
"No person shall purposely provide food -- including, but not limited to grain, seeds, greens, bread crumbs and miscellaneous food scraps -- intended for pigeon ingestion on public property or property subject to the city right-of-way," the proposed ordinance says. Aldermen Danny Solis and Helen Shiller introduced it at a City Council meeting Wednesday, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Thursday.
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*coo* *coo* *URP* *POOF!*
“Every day I like to go down to the park and feed the pigeons.”
“What do you feed them, popcorn?”
“Every day I like to go down to the park and feed the pigeons...to my cat.”
-National Lampoon’s Radio Dinner
lol
ILLEGAL ALIENS A:OK!!! feed the damn pigeons and Go Straight to Jail, Do Not Pass Go... Do Not Collect $200 Dollars!!!
JERRY: You ran over some pigeons? How many?
GEORGE: What ever they had. ... Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons?
JERRY: Of course. We have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.
GEORGE: Right! And these pigeons broke the deal. I will not accept the blame for this.
And it fits in well with another suggestion to punish the pigeons, not the people.
Cut back to Atlantic City, the middle of the night. Jerry and George are trying to sleep, but a flock of birds outside is keeping them awake.]
JERRY: What the hell is that?
GEORGE: I don’t know, it sounds like pigeons or something!
JERRY (getting out of bed): Well, I can’t sleep with that noise.
GEORGE: Me either. Is there anything you can do to shut them up?
JERRY: Wait a second. (Grabs the icebucket off the counter.) This’ll scare ‘em off. (Dumps the bucket of water over the balcony. We hear a loud squawking noise and the flapping of wings, then the noise is gone. Jerry gets back into bed.) Well, good night, Ollie.
GEORGE: Good night, Stan.
The pigeons grab the Alka-Seltzer in mid-air in a few seconds the pigeon explodes inside and it will fall out of the sky. I saw this years ago with seaguls.. in a few minutes the police came and arrested the guy throwing the Alka-Seltzer up for the seaguls. The police picked up all of the dead birds put them in the car along with the perp and away they went off to the slammer.
How about: Chicago may reward pigeon killers
Sadly laughable.: )
Snopes. Too bad.
“We’re cautioned not to throw rice at the bride and groom, because the grain will prove harmful to the birds who swoop down to eat it. The rice expands in those little birdy stomachs, causing our avian companions to explode, we’re warned. Let’s quit worrying about the birds. They’ll be fine. Seagulls don’t explode when they eat Alka-Seltzer; pigeons don’t explode when they eat rice. “
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/birdrice.asp
Nice catch.
“All the world seems to tune on a spring afternoon,
when we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.”
-———Tom Lehrer
I spent one afternoon with my Great-Aunt. She was 69. She took me to feed the pigeons. It was neat!
She wasn’t a regular pigeon feeder. She did it ONLY when she had a Child in tow. It was one of the few things that She could do, that would impress a visiting child.
Chicago could exempt “blue-hairs” and Grand-parents escorting an out-of-town child, from that proposed law. Let the Aged impress our youth.
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