I too have been reading through some of these posts... Very sad... Did you happen to see the posts of his poetry... As you read through you can see it getting darker and darker. He states in one part that he was indeed on medication (Paxil) at one point, but apparently not anymore... He talks about fake friends, etc... etc... Very sad. He also talks about many, many people attempting to help him — suggestions of counseling, changing doctors, changing medications, etc... etc... It seems like he didn’t take their offers of help seriously and fought against all attempts to help him...
In another one (the link I just posted above), he claimed to have been on Prozac for 8 months. A lot of sounds like it was just made up for an audience.
Have they shown a picture of him anywhere? Just curious.
nghtmrchld26 Friend Posts: 38 (8/5/07 6:26 pm) Reply Drowning in despair you raped the soul from the child in me........ Crying all alone The tears flowing down my face in a beautiful stream The lovely misery and lonely darkness surrounding me As I see everyone going on with their meaningless vain fake lives All the posers and wannabes All the abusers Crying all alone Cutting myself High off the pain and darkness Seeing so many fakers hating me So many of my friends who have abandoned me So many spiritual pretenders who failed to help me. I.m your nightmares come true You think you can punish me but you fail to see That I.ve lived through a thousand nightmares And all your worst Christian fears are coming true Walking down these hallways Of mirrors and sadness seeing myself Crying all alone as everyone takes their turn Raping all that I am Cutting myself killing this pain Someone help me please I can.t get out and I am slowly dying Come and sing with me This beautiful song of sadness and misery Cutting ourselves Crying awash in crimson Come and sing this song. As we die and leave this miserable life behind Can you not see the elegant beauty? Rays of light like gold silk flowing throughout this place Beautiful tears of crimson streaming down our bodies Our work is done here, we.re going home Let us fly away into the dying sunset Can you not hear this beautiful song? As all the pain fades away Taking your last breath As the blood and pain drains Leaving everyone........left To die in their misery and hypocrisy We.re going home to a beautiful place far away from here ________________________________________________ It's all in your head......it's all in my head..... I tried...you lied to me for so long..... Everywhere I go there's a sense of it....... freak on my antics and give me a choice Doesn't matter if I give a @#%$..... it's @#%$ that you gave me Edited by: nghtmrchld26 at: 11/11/07 11:04 pm nghtmrchld26
That's followed by more sympathy from other members, followed by him explaining a lot about himself. I'll append that below.
This guy is definitely a suicidal, hate-filled young man, and that's a combination that is dangerous to society. Because they are not content to just take themselves out when they go. They want to take as many along with them as they can in a final blaze of glory, to revel in their hatred and revel in getting blood on their hands. I'm guessing that at some point, too much time spent fantasizing doing violence to real people can lead from fantasy to reality. Seventy years ago, these kinds of people would have had other outlets, such as signing up to be SS death camp guards.
Sorry if I don't sound too sympathetic. I keep pingponging back and forth between sympathy and anger with this Matthew Murray, who went from angry poet to mass murderer one day, and got his big wish to go out in a bloodsoaked blaze of glory.
Thanks for filling in those blanks.
Am not surprised a lot of folks tried to help him.
Not surprised he resisted persistently. That makes helping him very, very PROBLEMATIC. One would have to be able to certify in court that he was an IMMINENT DANGER TO HIMSELF OR OTHERS to forcably “help” him. And there’s no guarantee that a hospitalization would help him in many cases.
Not surprised he was on an anti-depressant.
GETTING OFF THE ANTIDEPRESSANTS CAN BE A VERY CRITICAL TIME IN TERMS OF VIOLENCE POTENTIAL.
SOMEONE SHOULD have been monitoring him closely in terms of his compliance with actually taking the drug.