Posted on 12/07/2007 5:13:18 AM PST by cgbg
We progressives have made great strides this year in preventing thousands of shoelace-related deaths among children here in the United States and around the world.
As you know earlier this year Al Gore won his second Nobel Peace Prize for his award-winning documentary "Shoelaces Knock Our Kids Off-Balance".
George Soros donated one hundred million dollars to found his new SHoelace Alliance For Teenagers to prevent these needless injuries caused by untied and mistied shoelaces. Elementary, Middle and Secondary schools now require Shoelace Injury Training for at least one hundred hours per semester as part of the National Education Association endorsed approach to fight this crisis.
It hasn't been easy. The loafer lobbyists and their right-wing extremists and blogger allies have tried to convince kids and their parents to back off the challenge of learning the proper way to tie shoelaces. The lame duck President and a recalcitrant Republican Congress have continued to fight our efforts to help kids.
I am pleased to report that with your donations and attendance at the million kid shoelace march we have forced defections in the reactionary ranks. Former shoelace injury deniers like John McCain and Mike Huckabee have converted to our cause. Congress recently funded a ten billion dollar SHoelace AFrica Treaty that will educate millions of poor kids on the dangers of shoelaces. Senator Kennedy and Speaker Pelosi have promised that this critical health issue will be addressed in the next Congress and signed by the new President with new initiatives and high taxes on the evil loafer industry.
We SHALL overcome.
Sincerely
SHoelace ALLiance
;-)
Velcro is a tool of Satan!!
Is it Kucinich or Paul who has come out for velcro?
Actually, these shoes with a cinch lace system work great for those of us who hate shoelaces:
END SHOELACES NOW!!!!!!!...GO BAREFOOT!...............
On Shin pads, on Helmets, on Seat Belts, on Airbags....
We must save ALL.
~~Anthropogenic Global Warming ping~~
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