Posted on 12/04/2007 8:11:01 AM PST by shrinkermd
Some researchers divide perfectionists into three types, based on answers to standardized questionnaires: Self-oriented strivers who struggle to live up to their high standards and appear to be at risk of self-critical depression; outwardly focused zealots who expect perfection from others, often ruining relationships; and those desperate to live up to an ideal they’re convinced others expect of them, a risk factor for suicidal thinking and eating disorders.
“It’s natural for people to want to be perfect in a few things, say in their job — being a good editor or surgeon depends on not making mistakes,” said Gordon L. Flett, a psychology professor at York University and an author of many of the studies. “It’s when it generalizes to other areas of life, home life, appearance, hobbies, that you begin to see real problems.”
Unlike people given psychiatric labels, however, perfectionists neither battle stigma nor consider themselves to be somehow dysfunctional. On the contrary, said Alice Provost, an employee assistance counselor at the University of California, Davis, who recently ran group therapy for staff members struggling with perfectionist impulses. “They’re very proud of it,” she said. “And the culture highly values and reinforces their attitudes.”
Consider a recent study by psychologists at Curtin University of Technology in Australia, who found that the level of “all or nothing” thinking predicted how well perfectionists navigated their lives. The researchers had 252 participants fill out questionnaires rating their level of agreement with 16 statements like “I think of myself as either in control or out of control” and “I either get on very well with people or not at all.”
The more strongly participants in the study thought in this either-or fashion, the more likely they were to display the kind of extreme perfectionism that can lead to mental health problems.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
ping
Psychologists are always arguing whether they are an art or a science.
IMHO, they’re neither. This kind of self-contemplation is rather more narcissistic than anything. Yawn.
That’s why oranges are generally happy - because they spend very little time contemplating their navel...
Orange you glad?
True story - not pulp fiction!
I can relate! Problem is that nothing is perfect!
Shall we consider the ramifications of perfectionism vs. self-deification? How else could one approach perfection?
“In His image...” taken too far...
1. They feel they must be perfect, but they know they aren’t perfect. No one is.
2. They want others to view them as being ‘perfect’ and they often do to a large degree.
3. They can’t stand the thought knowing that someone knows they aren’t perfect. They also know those who live with them know they aren’t perfect. They also expect others to be ‘perfect’, especially their spouse.
4. They are not fun people to be around; especially those they can’t fool. They are both self-critical and critical of others and have VERY unrealistic expectations of themselves and others who aren’t interested in ‘working’ all the time; either at work or around the home. They don’t know how to just relax.
5. They are very often guilt-driven and don’t know how to enjoy life in general. They make great employees, because they work very hard and take what they are given.
If a woman tells me she is a bit of a perfectionist, it raises red flags. Some times it may only mean they like to do things well; but, if there are some truly perfectionist traits, I get uninterested very quickly. I am not going to go through that again.
Apart from the fact that this veiw has been hijacked by the self-esteem-über-alles educrats, I don't see the problem...
Damn! I typo'ed "view." I shall now withdraw, to be one with my humiliation.
Some good insights, but I have to disagree on a few points.
If the “perfectionist” in question is really off the reservation, I mean REALLY deep into perfectionism, I can see easily how all those things could happen.
I think, though, that some perfectionists are not living to that degree of perfectionism. I, for one, consider myself to be a perfectionist in many areas.
I never, ever, typed over 31 words per minute while I was learning to type on conventional typewriters, because I was in constant fear of hitting the wrong key. It was the only “C” I ever got in High School. That hurt, too, by the way...
I will spend hours doing and re-doing diagrams/presentation slides sometimes, for as long as I have time to do it. At deadline, however, I turn it in.
I don’t feel the need to “be” perfect, per se, but I am usually very upset if I make a stupid mistake due to oversight or inattention. Forgetting appointments, making misstatements, breaking something, etc. will produce a rise in body temperature, believe it or not. I can, however, differentiate between my fault and something over which I have control.
I do like others to feel that I don’t make mistakes. I do expect a LOT more from those close to me (wife/kids) than I do from the general populace.
As for enjoying life, you won’t find too many people who are more at ease with themselves and others than I am. I love to be the life of the party, and I can take a joke almost as I well as I can dish them out. I love being with friends, and they usually love to see me coming.
How can I have the best of both worlds? I truly believe it is an outgrowth of my Faith in Jesus. The biggest lesson He taught was for us to understand that we are NOT perfect, and to be humble. It is the central truth of Christianity that no one is perfect, and we all need help. I have found in myself some of the bad tendencies, but I’ve learned to let go. Life is good!
“Lord it’s hard to be humble when your perfect in every way.”
Based on what YOU wrote, you certainly have some pretty strong perfectionist tendencies. Could be that you are somewhat anal, too. What is your profession; or work?
Another thing I don’t have to worry about.
Not that I don’t have standards, they’re just low.
Not sure what your point is, and I’m not sure if you are mocking me or not...
But for what it’s worth, I’m a Mechanical Engineer. And it fits me. Math problems are either right or wrong... “all or nothing”...
But, like I said, I’ve got a pretty good handle on when to let go, and on what’s important enough to get ‘just right’. I use my perfectionism as an asset. If I think it’s important, give it to me if you want it right.
“If a woman tells me she is a bit of a perfectionist, it raises red flags. Some times it may only mean they like to do things well; but, if there are some truly perfectionist traits, I get uninterested very quickly. I am not going to go through that again.”
There is hope, I had some of these traits prior to my marriage (partially due to inheriting them - partially due to my approach to athletics).
The greatest cure was becoming a mom.
In fact, I admire people with strengths such as yours for the simple reason that they are different than mine. You’d probably go nuts working in sales like I do. Based on my personality and interests, I’d be a lousy engineer or CPA. It’s not that I don’t have the intelligence for it.
I would think trait has some significant advantages in your profession. My older son is a very successful CPA at a relatively young age, and probably has personality traits similar to you.
Isn’t it great that God gives us our personalities that we can take advantage of if we are wise in our decisions?
Would I be safe in assuming that you a much happier person now?
LOL!
I have a friend who had bulemia in pursuit of ‘perfection’. She states that having 3 kids in 5 years got her over the bulemia and saved her life.
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