Posted on 11/21/2007 4:34:40 PM PST by fanfan
Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy.
But the very thought makes her shudder with horror.
Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet.
Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time.
He refused, but Toni - who works for an environmental charity - "relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform the irreversible surgery.
Finally, eight years ago, Toni got her way.
At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilised to "protect the planet".
Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend (now husband) presented her with a congratulations card.
While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.
"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.
"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."
While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature, Toni seems to see them as a sinister threat to the future.
It's an extreme stance which one might imagine is born from an unhappy childhood or an upbringing among parents who share similar, strong beliefs.
But nothing in Toni's safe, middle- class upbringing gave any clues as to the views which would shape her adult life. The eldest of three daughters, she enjoyed a loving, close-knit family life.
She excelled at her Roman Catholic school, and her doting parents fully expected her to grow up, settle down and start a family of her own.
"When I finished school, I got a job in retail and at 19, I met my first husband," says Toni.
"No sooner had we finished our wedding cake than all our relatives started to ask when they could expect a new addition to the family.
"I always told them that would never happen, but no one listened.
"When I was a child, I loved bird-watching, and in my teens that developed into a passion for the environment as well as the welfare of animals - I became a vegetarian when I was 15.
"Even my parents used to smile and say: 'You'll change your mind one day about babies.'
"The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either.
"We both passionately wanted to save the planet - not produce a new life which would only add to the problem."
So, instead of mapping out plans for a family, Toni and her husband began discussing medical options to ensure they would never reproduce.
Toni, from Taunton, Somerset, says: "When I was 21, I considered sterilisation for the first time.
"I'd been on the Pill for five years and didn't want to take hormone-based contraception indefinitely.
"I went to my GP, but she wouldn't even consider the idea.
"She said I was far too young and told me I could 'absolutely not' be sterilised, and that I was bound to change my mind one day.
"I found her attitude frustrating.
"We decided my husband would have a vasectomy instead. He was 25, just a few years older than me, but the GP allowed him to go ahead.
"I found it insulting that she thought that, just because I was a woman, I'd reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought."
When Toni was 23, her marriage ended. She says: "We married very young and grew apart."
Toni found herself young, single and with a new life in London, working for an environmental charity.
But while other young women dream of marriage and babies, Toni was convinced it was her duty not to have a child.
She claims she was far from alone.
"Through my job I made many friends who, like me, were more interested in campaigning, trying to change society and save the planet rather than having families of our own.
"We used to say that if ever we did want children, we'd adopt, as there are so many children in need of a loving family.
"At least then, we'd be doing something positive for the world, rather than something negative."
Toni was happy, at last, with fellow environmentalists who shared her philosophy. But when she was 25, disaster struck.
"I discovered that despite taking the Pill, I'd accidentally fallen pregnant by my boyfriend.
"I was horrified. I knew straight away there was no option of having the baby.
"I went to my doctor about having a termination, and asked if I could be sterilised at the same time.
"This time it was a male doctor. I remember saying to him: 'I want to make sure this never happens again.'
"He said: 'You may not want a child, but one day you may meet a man who does'. He refused to consider it.
"I didn't like having a termination, but it would have been immoral to give birth to a child that I felt strongly would only be a burden to the world.
"I've never felt a twinge of guilt about what I did, and have honestly never wondered what might have been.
"After my abortion, I was more determined than ever to pursue sterilisation.
"By then, I had my mother's support - she realised I wasn't going to grow out of my beliefs, and was proud of my campaigning work."
At the age of 27, Toni moved to Brighton, where her dream of medical intervention was realised.
Toni says: "My new GP was more forward-thinking and referred me to hospital. I couldn't wait for the operation."
As Toni awaited the surgery which would destroy her fertility, she met her future husband, Ed, 38, an IT consultant.
"A week before my sterilisation, I went to an animal rights demonstration and met Ed.
"I liked him immediately, and I told him what I was doing straight away - because if he wanted children then he needed to know I wasn't the woman for him," she says.
"But Ed was relieved when I told him how I felt and said he didn't want children for the same reasons."
On the morning of surgery, Ed gave Toni a card saying "Congratulations".
Toni says: "After the operation, which is irreversible, I didn't feel emotional - just relieved.
"I've never doubted that I made the right decision. Ed and I married in September 2002, and have a much nicer lifestyle as a result of not having children.
"We love walking and hiking, and we often go away for weekends.
"Every year, we also take a nice holiday - we've just come back from South Africa.
"We feel we can have one long-haul flight a year, as we are vegan and childless, thereby greatly reducing our carbon footprint and combating over-population.
"My only frustration is that other people are unable to accept my decision.
"When I tell people why I don't want children, they look at me as if I was planning to commit murder.
"A woman who does not have maternal-feelings is seen as some sort of anomaly.
"And a woman like me, who is not having children in order to save the planet, is considered barking mad.
"What I consider mad are those women who ferry their children short distances in gas-guzzling cars."
But Toni is far from alone.
When Sarah Irving, 31, was a teenager she sat down and wrote a wish-list for the future.
Most young girls dream of marriage and babies. But Sarah dreamed of helping the environment - and as she agonised over the perils of climate change, the loss of animal species and destruction of wilderness, she came to the extraordinary decision never to have a child.
"I realised then that a baby would pollute the planet - and that never having a child was the most environmentally friendly thing I could do."
Sarah's boyfriends have been less understanding than Toni's, with the breakdown of several relationships.
"I've had boyfriends who wanted children, so I knew I couldn't be with them long term,' says Sarah.
"I've had to break up with a couple of boyfriends because I didn't think it was fair to waste their time.
"In my early 20s I had a boyfriend who I really liked, but he wanted to start a family as soon as possible.
"I was tempted to stay with him and hope he would change his mind, but I knew I couldn't provide him with what he wanted so I walked away."
Sarah started work for the Ethical Consumer magazine, and seven years ago she met her fiancÈ Mark Hudson, a 37-year- old health- care worker.
When they started dating in 2003, they immediately discussed their views on children.
"To my relief, Mark was as adamant as me that he didn't want a family. After a year of dating, we started talking about sterilisation," says Sarah.
"I didn't want to have an 'accident' if contraception didn't work - we would be faced with the dilemma of whether to keep the baby."
While other young couples sit down and discuss mortgages, Sarah and Mark discussed the medical options for one or the other to be sterilised.
"We realised it was a much more straightforward procedure, safer and easier, for a man to be sterilised through a vasectomy than a woman to be sterilised," says Sarah.
"In January 2005, Mark had a vasectomy and we both felt incredibly relieved there was no chance of us having a baby."
Ironically, the couple who have decided to deny themselves children for the sake of the planet, actively enjoy the company of young children.
Sarah says: "We both have nieces who we love dearly and I consider myself a caring, nurturing person.
"My sister recently had a little girl, and that has taken the pressure off me because my parents wanted to be grandparents.
"At first, they were surprised by my decision, but they have never criticised us.
"I'd never dream of preaching to others about having a family. It's a very personal choice. What I do like to do is make people aware of the facts.
"When I see a mother with a large family, I don't resent her, but I do hope she's thought through the implications."
Mark adds: "Sarah and I live as green a life a possible. We don't have a car, cycle everywhere instead, and we never fly.
"We recycle, use low-energy light bulbs and eat only organic, locally produced food.
"In short, we do everything we can to reduce our carbon footprint. But all this would be undone if we had a child.
"That's why I had a vasectomy. It would be morally wrong for me to add to climate change and the destruction of Earth.
"Sarah and I don't need children to feel complete. What makes us happy is knowing that we are doing our bit to save our precious planet."
As someone who has dealt with infertility for many, many years, and recently was successful again with our final IVF procedure, I find the fact that this woman and others like her will NOT be leaving anyone in the gene pool!! What a callous disregard for human life!! Satan is having a field day with these ‘greenies’—just incredible. [shakes head sadly at the wanton murder of unborn children because the parents are insane] :*(
Congratulations! :-)
Count me in too!
(EDD July 2008!)
Happy to leave little footprints all over this earth, LOL.
Absolutely crazy reasoning but I have to say, one of my first though after reading the first paragraph was “she would know at first hand what it is like to go without sleep for weeks on end, try to cradle a screaming, colicky baby, have a pair of eyes looking at you when you tell your kid no, they can’t go to that party with unconditional hate, feel a hand sliding in your pocket for money every time you turn around, or a phone ringing at midnight with a neighbor asking if you are so-and-sos Mom.”
(All said tongue in cheek - I have 2 terrific almost-men and love ‘em to pieces.)
But with an EDD of July '08 -- you're in the early days! That's awesome. Is this your first?
Oops! Just checked your Freep page — you’ve already got a little beauty! Is she excited about being a big sis?
“Drinking milk isn’t just cruel, it’s unnatural!”, says Viva!’s Senior Campaigner Toni Vernelli. “Cows produce milk to feed their babies, just like human mothers do. Our bizarre habit of drinking milk from a different species not only deprives calves of their rightful food, but also leads to a myriad of human illnesses. Drinking cow’s milk is no more natural than drinking badger’s milk or cat’s milk.”
“The solution to bird flu and foot and mouth, poisoning and prions, superbugs and strokes, coronary heart disease and some cancers, is to go vegetarian”.
Toni Vernelli
“Serving a burger to your family today, knowing what we know, constitutes child abuse. You might as well give them weed killer. “
— Toni Vernelli, then-coordinator of PETA’s European operations
“We’re calling on the (government) to take a precautionary approach and stop this year’s hunt,” said Toni Vernelli of Greenpeace Canada.
Toni Vernelli, of the Brighton-based Save the Shamrock Monkeys campaign
Not going to happen.
You can assuredly bask in the irony that these loons are anti-war and anti death penalty.
I'd bet the farm on it.
And the NEA is sure doing that. Amazes me sometimes. But, the bottom line is they won’t win. That’s why they want to start on the younger kids, the agenda doesn’t work on the older ones. And, it won’t work on the younger ones either.
I read this article last night when my computer was finally fixed - amazing how babies/children/procreating is considered so awful. I recalled the time I was pregnant with my 4th kid, dropping off my two preschoolers to preschool, infant in a car seat, and meeting a mom of one of the kids’ classmates. She had a sticker on her car, something about population control, which blew me away. We started talking cos my oldest was invited to her kid’s birthday party. She actually said to me, with venom, “how many do you plan on having?” I felt horrible afterward since I replied something like well if you didn’t have your one kid I could have another, you know to keep with the population control you seem to cherish.
I’m glad these people aren’t procreating much. I get that some shouldn’t be parents, or don’t want to be parents. Nothing wrong with that imo. But they have such disdain for people who love kids, want to have big families. It’s mind boggling. I could only have 4 kids and if I could’ve, I would have had more.
I know Yoo Ling, hell thats why I wrote it.
Population adjustment is not a problem in the modern era.
Sterilizing one's self is a fear of being genuinely human. These twits want to be gods, but have no way of knowing how to get there.
Thanks for your kindness. I really like FR, its my favorite place to hang, and folks like you make it that way.
I especially like the term “termination” - it’s so much more pc than murder, which is what it is.
I don’t understand these selfish people.They’re willing to murder innocent babies, “for the environment” yet not see the contradiction of their actions.
People are stupid.
Exactly! and I think Europe is starting to see this.
It’s a trend here too. Maybe not to the extent as in Europe but it’s creeping up here. And, most are clueless.
If we look at population numbers, Islam is procreating in a way we can’t compete. And I don’t care what anyone says, they’re gonna be the majority sooner or later and we’ll have to deal with that.It’s one of the history facts we conveniently forget to teach our kids.
Exactly! and I think Europe is starting to see this.
It’s a trend here too. Maybe not to the extent as in Europe but it’s creeping up here. And, most are clueless.
If we look at population numbers, Islam is procreating in a way we can’t compete. And I don’t care what anyone says, they’re gonna be the majority sooner or later and we’ll have to deal with that.It’s one of the history facts we conveniently forget to teach our kids.
Amen to that!!!
I normally don’t care about the fuel I use or complain about prices. My family is sorta eco friendly so they make me recycle and such. They care about the environment and really I do also. However, I realize I’m a part of the environment, a human, not some monster that’s destroying it.
I’m a part of this earth, the most important part really. Natures’s gonna take its course just like it always has. Whatever happens, happens. We’re gonna run out of fuel way before global warming (sigh) happens. We may even have another Depression. Unfortunately, we’re not like our parents imo. They were able to deal with it and overcome it. We’re too soft. But maybe it’s what we need, this country needs, to get back to its roots. I’ll hate it, but I’ve been sacrificing my entire life so it will just be another thing and fortunately I had parents who lived through the Depression and WWII, fought during WWII. My Dad was a WWII vet and both my parents survived the Great Depression. Hell, they survived the 60’s which was worse, lol.
The oil is gonna run out or get way too costly for people like me (those with no govt. assistance). Then we’ll see what this country is made of. Again.
These people will leave even less of a legacy than the Shakers.
The Shakers are having children. Just an FYI there.
I agree. It’s wonderful we can all have goofy ideas. I just want those with the goofy ideas to appreciatee just how great this country is, but those with those ideas hate this country and what it is stands for. They want to ruin it and I have a problem with that. If everyone would fight, really fight- join or at least support our military without their self righteous babble, which the US Military allows and protects, then it would be ok. But they don’t. They hide behind their “religious” beliefs to justify their lifestyle which they conveniently forget the Military fights for.
Everyone is entitled to his/her beliefs. But when our people/soldiers are fighting daily for those freedoms, the goofy beliefs take a backseat, a way back seat. Nothing trumps our military nor the ideals this country was founded.
And the Shakers have kids. The Amish and Mennonites are so peaceful (cos they can here) and they should get down on their knees every night thanking God and the US Military for protecting their freedom.
Let’s get down on our knees and celebrate this country and those soldiers who protect it and our freedom. Sure let’s celebrate all the crazy ideas, the homo agenda since it’s so normal, and the wiccans, cos that’s normal and Islam, let’s celebrate the freedom of Islam since we’re celebrating different or “ideas that others consider crazy”
I’m so sick of this PC crap. Not all cultures are the same or normal. Some suck. And any that aren’t willing to fight for this country, suck. IMO of course.
My wife spent the first four months of her pregnancy bed ridden and on IV fluid and a home care nurse because of hyperemesis. Her doctor even asked her how “committed” to this pregnancy we were because of what it was doing to her, but we wanted this child so badly my wife toughed it out. It makes me so enraged to read about this. people just throwing their healthy children away...for the earth.
I don’t wish Hell upon many people but...
Islam is the religion of peace, rme, after all.
It amazes me sometimes. So many believe the Islam is a religion of peace crap, even those with background in history. I give up. People just don’t want to learn. They refuse to acknowlege history, refuse to face the factual info.
Sometimes I wish these people who have everything would appreciate the gifts God has given them.
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