Another 'modest proposal'

Nealz Nuze/Cox Radio Interactive & Cox Radio, Inc. ^ | 23 October 2007 | Justin Jones

[Turret Gunner A20]

This is the column in the school newspaper sent the principal into a panic ... running around and confiscating uncirculated copies of the column.

Another 'modest proposal'
by Justin Jones
Published on: 10/23/07

For a millennium, the world has been plagued with stupid people corrupting society and bastardizing the value of life for all of mankind.

The intellectually handicapped have been reproducing at a substantially greater rate than those with a fully functional brain.

The problem of the unintelligent reproducing is, and has been, a serious threat to society that has gone unchecked for far too long. It is the responsibility of man to solve this problem before a reverse Darwinism takes effect.

[Turret Gunner A20]

This should kick up quite a fuss....

[joebuck]

Actually, it’s a pretty well written piece of satire for a high school kid.

[Mrs.Z]

He’s talking about Democrats not being allowed to reproduce, right?

(That’s MY definition of “stupid”.)

[scan59]

Second, the government should compile a standardized test to thoroughly analyze any and all 5th grade students in the country for IQ levels. Based on the results of the test, those who perform in the bottom 25 percent should be executed. The executions will not be inhumane; simple lethal injections while one sleeps would be sufficient. With the bottom of every class systematically removed, over time the world would inevitably thrive and prosper like never before.

Wow! Talk about stressing out before taking a test! (Wasn't there a Twilight Zone or Night Gallery about this once? Except that they got rid of the smart kids that might be a threat to "equality"?)

[Phantom Lord]

Lowest 25% of IQ persons executed. I could not disagree more. That is just plain stupid.

It would be far better to replace "dancing with the stars" and "American Idol" with shows such as "Idiot Island", Dueling Dummies", and "Last 'Tard Standing".

[HiJinx]

Second, the government should compile a standardized test to thoroughly analyze any and all 5th grade students in the country for IQ levels. Based on the results of the test, those who perform in the bottom 25 percent should be executed. The executions will not be inhumane; simple lethal injections while one sleeps would be sufficient. With the bottom of every class systematically removed, over time the world would inevitably thrive and prosper like never before.

Many businesses do this as a routine matter of course - fire the bottom 10% every year to improve your work force. This article just takes the concept a step or two further...

[Nervous Tick]

>> Lowest 25% of IQ persons executed. I could not disagree more. That is just plain stupid.

I agree, but for a different reason.

I’ve been told I’m 41st percentile in intelligence, so I’d like to see the “lower 40” get the needle.

[xjcsa]

Before we get the usual flood of illiterates who don't realize it's (somewhat mediocre) satire, this is something of a tribute to the original "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift, which advocated eating babies to alleviate starvation (less kids, more food).

[Turret Gunner A20]

He’s talking about Democrats not being allowed to reproduce, right?

(That’s MY definition of “stupid”.)

Gee, I hadn't thought about that -- but, if that's what he's talking about, I think it's a stroke of genius, myself.

[Slapshot68]

This sounds a lot like the stuff Eric Harris of Columbine High School used to write for his English classes.

[coffee260]

This is great stuff. Stick with me here. The author writes:

"Since mankind obviously cannot control itself enough to make strides for the future, the populace spins into an out of control state of reverse Darwinism where the stupid people survive and the smart people perish."

...reverse Darwinism? Ponder that thought for a moment. Reverse Darwinism. Wouldn't that make the stupid people the fittest? Reverse Darwinism: Where only the unfittest survive. (Gotta love the logic.) As opposed to the survival of the fittest? I'm shaking my head trying to get my thoughts around such an obtuse statement. Clearly the author, in the face of "over whelming evidence" of the gradual extinction of the intellectually endowed, is confused. I don't know if this statement is a paradox of ironic proportions or ironically paradoxical. The very definition of reverse Darwinism is a paradox in and of itself. You follow me?

[coffee260]

Humm...satire. OK, I get it. I just thought that some liberal wrote out what he really thought intending not to email it but instead emailed the wrong letter. Satire and Liberalism have become one and the same.

[steve8714]

I guess you cannot really plagarize from something as old as Swift? Most screenplays are derivative of Shakespeare, the Bible or Kurosawa.

[tx_eggman]

This sounds a lot like the stuff Eric Harris of Columbine High School used to write for his English classes.

Only to the satirically impaired ...

No soup for you.

[Pentagon Leatherneck]

Can you say “Eugenics” kiddies? I knew you could.

TC

[pabianice]

The Little Black Bag

[ROTB]

>Can you say “Eugenics” kiddies? I knew you could.

Wait a second, we already do that. It’s called “abortion”

Ahh! A slippery slope!

[skinkinthegrass]

I’ve been told I’m 41st percentile in intelligence, so I’d like to see the “lower 40” get the needle...

I can see why, you chose your FRname....esp. If, say a 42+ percentile had said the same for those below their numerical valve.

[skinkinthegrass]

...Kurosawa...LOL! HA!...(7 Samurai :)

[Hostage]

It’s a public school right?

So does he get two points for mentioning Darwinism in the context of a valid theory?