“So now that you’ve experienced both, any advice on avoiding the witch, and finding the good?”
I’ll chime in here: Take a long, long time to decide, and watch very carefully how she treats other people that can’t benefit her in ANY way.
Diito that. Watch how she treats wait staff, sales clerks and most importantly, don’t let love blind you to the way that she treats you. Another piece of advice: don’t assume that she’s the best you can ever get. If you have your doubts and some little voice says, “hey, its better than being alone”, IGNORE IT!!!!!
I have a whole list now, based on my experiences:
1. Watch how someone talks about others. I mean, we all have people who irritate us or whom we faintly despise, but watch out for people who think practically everyone they meet is an idiot or a jerk.
2. Watch for people who are incredibly charming and tell droll stories about how screwed up is everyone they work with. Then a few months later they've left that job because everyone there was weird, or a loser. This is their third job in a year.
3. Watch for people who seem to make close friends very quickly only to be in a feud with said friend six weeks later.
4. Watch for people who seem to have an incredible amount of bad luck, NONE of which they seem to deserve, NONE of which is their fault, ALL of which came about because jealous people conspired against them.
5. Watch for people with bad credit.
6. Watch for people who speak ill of their parents but accept money from them often.
7. Watch for people whose ex-boyfriends/girlfriends really seem to hate them or worse, fear them.
8. Watch for people (especially women) who seem eager to get into a relationship with you. Particularly if you're financially better off than they are.
9. Watch for people who seem to find other people suckers, or are pleased when they can successfully deceive someone. Even little cutie who is just giggling at how she lied her way out of a bank overdraft fee or a speeding ticket.
10. Finally, watch how their family reacts to you if they meet you. If they seem rather wistfully hopeful that you are going to take this person off their hands and become responsible, look out, look out, look out. Any hint of "thank God, s/he is someone else's problem now" should be your cue to head for the hills.