Most often it’s attributed to “Anonymous”, but I did find one site that credited “V.M. Rodebaugh, 1938”.
I used AltaVista instead of Google and found a number of possibilities to sort through.
Dudden’s version supplies some choice couplets missing in the text above.
“Rejected”
A stranger stood at the Gates of Hell
And the Devil himself had answered the bell
He glanced at him from head to toe,
And said “My friend, I’d like to know
What have you done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within,”
Then Franklin D. said with his usual guile
As he gave the Devil his winning smile,
“When I took charge in ‘33
A Nation’s faith was mine you see
So I promised this and promised that
And calmed them down with a Fireside chat.
I put padlocks on their banks
And called the Congress a bunch of cranks.
I spent their money on fishing trips
Fishing from decks of their battle-ships.
I gave men money with W.P.A.
Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I killed their pigs and burned their crops,
Would raise their wages then close their shops
And double-crossed both old and young
And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer, then what do you think,
I taxed it so high they couldn’t drink.
I gave them money with government loans,
When they missed a payment I’d take their homes.
When I wanted to punish the folks you know,
I’d put my wife on the radio.
I payed them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean,
And shipped in corn from ‘Argentine’.
Now when they’d worry, stew or fret
I’d get them chanting the alphabet.
With the A.A.A. and N.R.L.B the W.P.A. and C.C.C.
With all these units I got their goats
And still I crammed it down their throats.
When organizers needed dough
I closed the plants for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health
And put the screws on the rich man’s wealth
And some who couldn’t stand the gaff
Would call on me and how I’d laugh.
I ruined the country, its homes and then,
Placed the blame on Nine Old Men.”
Now Franklin talked both long and loud.
The Devil stood and his head was bowed.
At last he said, “Let’s make this clear,
You’ll have to look elsewhere, you can’t come here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I’ll have to hunt myself a job.”