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Mark Steyn : What might have been : Barry Manilow can't smile without Elizabeth Hasselbeck
The Corner : National Review ^ | 09/18/2007 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 09/18/2007 7:24:00 AM PDT by SirLinksalot

His name was Barry

He was a showboy

But that was thirty years ago

When he used to do the show

Now it's a talkshow

But not for Barry

Still in the suit he used to wear

Faded gel streaks in his hair

He won't return their call

No matter how they crawl

He lost his slot

And he lost his marbles

But he's found Ron Paul

He can't cope-a

Cope-a with Hassel

The toughest chick west of Newcastle

Not like Rosie

Rosie O'Donnell

Barry knows she'll melt

When he brings up steel melt

He can't cope-a

He lost his slot...



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: barrymanilow; elisabethhasselbeck; elizabethhasselbeck; homosexualagenda; marksteyn; ronpaul; steyn; theview
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To: SirLinksalot

Paul Shanklin, in Memphis. ‘Nuf said....


21 posted on 09/18/2007 7:53:11 AM PDT by MainFrame65 (The US Senate: World's greatest PREVARICATIVE body!)
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To: donnab

My favorite “Barry Manilow” song is the one Ray Stevens wrote making fun of him.


22 posted on 09/18/2007 7:54:34 AM PDT by Right Cal Gal (Remember Billy Dale!!!)
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To: SirLinksalot

rry to Elizabeth.

My eyes Abhored You

My eyes abhored ya
Though you never laid a hand on me
My eyes abhored ya
Keep that conservative away from me
You couldn’t see how I adbhored ya
So close, close and yet so far right

I burned your books you fool
Playin’ “make-believe you agreed with me”
You were frist rate, I was third
When we came to TV
Coming into homes every day from New York to San Fran Bay
Still a few watching me and you
Go our separate ways

Headed for a big fight
I fell from the ladder to fortune and fame
I worked my jaws to the bone
Made myself a name
Funny I seemed to find
That no matter how the years unwind
Still I reminisce ‘bout that girl I miss
And the TV show I left behind


23 posted on 09/18/2007 7:57:35 AM PDT by dblshot
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To: lightingguy

HA, Mark Steyn ping.


24 posted on 09/18/2007 7:58:04 AM PDT by agrace
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To: dblshot

I saw him on last years American idol and he looked terrible.


25 posted on 09/18/2007 8:02:03 AM PDT by edcoil (Reality doesn't say much - doesn't need too)
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To: Right Cal Gal
My favorite “Barry Manilow” song is the one Ray Stevens wrote making fun of him.

Ahh yes, the song was entitled -- I NEED YOUR HELP BARRY MANILOW. That was brillant. Haven't heard it for years.

Listen to an excerpt here
26 posted on 09/18/2007 8:02:17 AM PDT by SirLinksalot
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To: Right Cal Gal

LYRICS TO : I NEED YOUR HELP BARRY MANILOW

My account is overdrawn, my car slid down the hill
I’m givin’ up, I’ve got no more to give
My beagle bit the vet, and my daughter’s on the pill
And my ficus plant has lost it’s will to live

I owe Mastercharge my life, I’ve got adolescent skin
My doctor says I can’t use any salt
My waist is getting thick, but my hair is getting thin
And my house is on the San Andreas fault...

I need your help, Barry Manilow
I’m miserable and I don’t know what to do
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
No one knows how to suffer quite like you

My shrink is out of town, my love life is a joke
My ex-wife sold my diary to Rona
All my ashtrays are overflowed, and I don’t even smoke
And my sinuses came back from Arizona...

(Spoken) “Hello, Mandy? It’s me. I’m here at the Copa. You know, the Copacabana. I know I don’t write the songs that make the whole world sing but I do know one thing, Mandy... I can’t smile without you.... Forget Lola.... Remember that weekend in New England? I thought then that this could be the magic at last... Now here I am... Tryin’ to get the feelin’ again!”

I need your help, Barry Manilow
I’m all alone and sitting on a shelf
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I feel like feeling sorry for myself

I need your help, Barry Manilow
Your songs can really comfort the unlucky
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I wish I didn’t have to feel so yucky...
I wish I didn’t have to feel...

So yucky!!!


27 posted on 09/18/2007 8:04:13 AM PDT by SirLinksalot
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To: SirLinksalot

Thank you! I thought I was the only one that remembered that! I heard Ray Stevens had a hand in re-writing that “Ballad of New Orleans” post-Katrina parody, which was hilarious.

My favorite is still “Shriners Convention...”

A woman of no depth. That’s me.


28 posted on 09/18/2007 8:06:07 AM PDT by Right Cal Gal (Remember Billy Dale!!!)
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To: Suzy Quzy

Very fine. and brainy. Brainy men turn me on. Some women like this or that physical feature. Give me a guy who whispers sweet nothings into my ear about science or history (non-revisionist) and I just melt.


29 posted on 09/18/2007 8:06:11 AM PDT by PinkDolphin (J'essaierai de faire mieux la prochaine fois.)
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To: -=SoylentSquirrel=-

“Yeah, but I saw Wayne Brady shoot a crack dealer on Chappelle’s show.”

That was a funny bit. Even Brady knows he’s no Magic Negro.


30 posted on 09/18/2007 8:06:38 AM PDT by toddlintown (Five bullets and Lennon goes down. Yet not one hit Yoko. Discuss.)
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To: PinkDolphin

You and me both. I told my better half if Charles Krauthammer was single, I’d be moving to D.C. and stalking the poor man.


31 posted on 09/18/2007 8:07:52 AM PDT by Right Cal Gal (Remember Billy Dale!!!)
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To: SirLinksalot

It’s frightening the level of intolerance on the left that is tolerated. What happened to agreeing to disagree?

The political tone in this country is growing scarier every day.


32 posted on 09/18/2007 8:12:24 AM PDT by tennteacher (Duncan Hunter '08)
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To: Right Cal Gal

LOL!!! ROTFL!!!!

I have to admit, that’s a stretch, even for me.


33 posted on 09/18/2007 8:12:49 AM PDT by PinkDolphin (Celebrate Southerness Y'all)
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To: toddlintown
If there was ever a Af-Am elected President, it's gotta be Wayne. such a nice man; my GF loves him in with an intensity that makes me slightly unfortable;

He shoots crack dealers, but always with a smile on his face.

34 posted on 09/18/2007 8:15:03 AM PDT by -=SoylentSquirrel=-
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To: toddlintown
If there was ever a Af-Am elected President, it's gotta be Wayne. such a nice man; my GF loves him in with an intensity that makes me slightly uncomfortable;

He shoots crack dealers, but always with a smile on his face.

35 posted on 09/18/2007 8:15:09 AM PDT by -=SoylentSquirrel=-
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To: SirLinksalot

LOL, very nice!! Bookmarking. Barry is acting like a big baby, I think he’s trying to make something out of nothing and get his 15 minutes, get back in the news.


36 posted on 09/18/2007 8:17:51 AM PDT by fortunecookie (Finally catching up with posting...)
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To: PinkDolphin

I like your tag line.
I’m originally from Goldsboro, N.C.


37 posted on 09/18/2007 8:17:54 AM PDT by Right Cal Gal (Remember Billy Dale!!!)
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To: Right Cal Gal

Like anyone who watches that drivel was sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for gay Barry to share his political views with the world! What a bunch of idiots in Hollywood! So self important.


38 posted on 09/18/2007 8:21:03 AM PDT by LYSandra
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To: Right Cal Gal

You poor girl. I used to live in Mtn View. Husband’s last duty station was Moffett Field. (now Ames Research Center) I enjoyed, it but that was because I always knew I was leaving and coming back down south.
Where i live now is the opposite. It’s a great place to live, but you wouldn’t want to visit here. haha!


39 posted on 09/18/2007 8:41:28 AM PDT by PinkDolphin (Celebrate Southerness Y'all)
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To: Right Cal Gal

Thank you!! Glad I’m not the only female who melts over Krauthammer!

And STEYN of course!!


40 posted on 09/18/2007 8:48:33 AM PDT by Fudd Fan (hey RINOs and RATs... FEAR THE FRED!!)
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