"Touch the stall to your left, and then tap your foot to the ri- i- i- ight..."
Posted on 09/01/2007 12:34:10 AM PDT by Wil H
In the Eighties there was an old joke about the “easy” girl that you managed to get to come home with you. She was nicknamed “Fedex”, because she “absolutely, positively, had to be there overnight.” Lord knows what the subsequent consequences of that liason might be..
Today, highlighted by the Larry Craig scandal, we have a new phenomenon to deal with that has far more serious potential to affect public health.
We have FEDSEX.
FEDSEX is inadvertently built on the Fedex distribution model, namely the hub and spoke system, if you'll pardon the pun...
Fedex determined many years ago that the most efficient system to distribute packages was to bring them all to a central point from every remote destination, sort them, and deliver them outbound on the return journey of the planes that brought them to the hub.
The system works very well and has been emulated by many other distributors. So we should be alarmed when we discover that he same distribution method is firmly in place to distribute AIDS and other STD’s nationwide, and across the globe.
Promiscuous gays have alarmingly high, and well documented, levels of sexually transmitted diseases. They are also known to have excessively high numbers of different partners. The list of diseases found with extraordinary frequency among male homosexual practitioners as a result of anal intercourse is alarming:
Anal Cancer
Chlamydia trachomatis
Cryptosporidium
Giardia lamblia
Herpes simplex virus
Human immunodeficiency virus
Human papilloma virus
Isospora belli
Microsporidia
Gonorrhea
Viral hepatitis types B & C
Syphilis
So imagine, when we find out that these reckless individuals, and you cannot categorize Larry Craig’s behavior as anything other than “reckless”, are indulging in highly dangerous, transitory, trysts in hub airports all over the nation as they fly throughout the land, and indeed, the world.
The ability of HIV, and all the other listed diseases to spread to every corner of the land in less than 24 hours is perfected, you couldn’t do it more efficiently if you tried…
God knows how many innocent “Mrs Craigs” are unknowing carriers of deadly STD’s. And just wonder how many of those promiscuous gays that blithely swap body fluids in some Middle American Airport bathroom seek out new homosexual company at their out of town destinations and spread their infections there, misery loves company.
The spread of HIV and AIDs that is now the scourge of Africa has been attributed to long distance truck drivers, American gays have developed a far more efficient mechanism.
Any Republican politico who is having any sex outside of his marriage or long term significant other if not married better rethink it soon. I suspect that the dems are looking to out as many as they can between now and the election. Hypocracy sells in the media.
It’s too bad about this senator. He is a confused individual, and you could say that he is beset by hypocrisy.
But his voting record is OK. It shows that a hypocritical, mixed-up Republican is far less dangerous than a committed, sincere Democrat.
Right.......and when you catch some guy on top of your girlfriend, remember he just tripped...
Well then let's get a third opinion, why don't we ask his wife?
...and you definitely don't pick anything up off of the floor. If you drop something...a pen or a comb, it stays there. It's gone, man.
Another interesting aspect of this whole discussion has been the revelation that men and women have entirely different cultures when it comes comes to restrooms.
Women appear view it as a sanctuary and meeting place where they socialise with other women. For instance, apparently, it is not unusual for them to request paper from the occupant of the next stall if theirs has run out, something a man would NEVER do.
In bars and clubs, women often retire to the bathrooms in groups to freshen up their make up and compare notes on the available guys and strategize their upcoming liaisons.
(Straight) guys always go to restrooms alone, they go there only when they need to perform bodily functions, once there, they maintain as much distance as possible from other users, maintaining silence and avoiding eye contact with strangers.
Public restrooms are smelly, nasty, places and you often try to hold your breath for as long as you are there to avoid the fumes. You hate meeting people you know in a bathroom, it’s the absolute worst embarrassment to hear your boss farting or pooping in a restroom and them have him emerge from a stall to know that you heard him. You can’t look him in eye for the rest of the day.
So it is not surprising that it has been predominantly women that have rushed to Larry Craig’s defence in this forum. They see his actions as far more benign than the guys do because they are applying a different set of cultural parameters and therefore interpret his actions differently. However, it’s the guys rules that apply in this instance and the guys have figured him out.
I think this says it like it is. There is no such thing as inherent or biological--it is a CHOICE.
Very astute observations.
"Touch the stall to your left, and then tap your foot to the ri- i- i- ight..."
I thought it was “Under the Boardwalk.” I didn’t think it was any kind of “signaling.” Of course at the time I never knew gay men cruised bathrooms for “dates.”
Fortunately; I’ve always been naive about that sort of thing. And I’m gonna stay that way too!
I didn’t know about the signal business signal until a couple of days ago, but the SNL crowd of the 70s was way ahead of me on that stuff.
In my ignorance I thought the sketch was hilarious.
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