Posted on 08/20/2007 7:41:24 AM PDT by Between the Lines
OPINION, August 20 /Christian Newswire/ -- "Do you know the fine for using someone else's handicapped parking permit is $300?" "That parking spot is saved for the disabled! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Nearly everyone with an invisible illness has been told, "You don't look disabled to me!" One of my friends replied, "Well, you don't look stupid to me." I just bite my lip to try to prevent the tears from forming, broken-hearted that I appear to be deceptive, when I would do anything to give back this parking perk that I use on a rare occasion.
As I circle the parking lot a fourth time on this day I hope for a spot to open up within two-hundred yards of the store, but there is nothing remotely close at this bustling superstore where I need to buy my prescriptions and milk for my toddler. My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring badly, causing extra fluid in my knees to dislocate pieces of loose bones. Every step is painful and unpredictable.
Finally I sigh in resignation and pull into the farthest "blue parking spot." I reach for the placard--the one that has a bold white symbol of a wheelchair--and no, I don't have a wheelchair--yet. So after fifteen years of having this "privilege" at my disposal I still warily scan the area before reluctantly dangling the placard from the rear view mirror. Is there anyone watching, wondering, or waiting, ready to confront me?
I've had scathing notes left on my windshield and many people, empowered by television exposés, have approached me with their opinions. Judgmental expressions and whispers sting just as much. My husband and I adopted a baby and when I would get my child of the car I would avoid eye contact with onlookers because I could hear their whispers of, "She's not disabled! Or--if she is--she has no right to have a child!"
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness. It could be diabetes, cancer, cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia or even chronic back pain. Many illnesses make walking long distances impossible because of limited lung capacity, physical pain, or unpredictable numbness in the legs. According to statistics provided by the U.S. Census Bureau, about 96% of these illnesses are invisible. There is no sign of the illness existing, nor the use of an assistive device like a cane or a wheelchair.
I began National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week in 2002, which is held this year Sept 10-16, 2007, after witnessing thousands of people who had frustrations, fears, loneliness, and bitterness, about feeling invalidated. One's illness, age, diagnosis, or level of disease degeneration, doesn't change the emotional pain.
Strangers and loved ones alike doubt the severity of our illness or even the diagnosis. We've heard, "You look so good! You must be feeling better." But we don't feel better. We just bought some fake tan in a bottle and pasted on a smile.
National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is a time to acknowledge that invisible illness is more prevalent than we'd imagine and everyone--both those who are healthy and ill--can make a difference by encouraging someone with an invisible illness, rather than tearing someone down.
Are those parking spots painted blue because they give so many people the blues? That small area of square footage is a breeding ground for many frustrations as we are forced to defend our illness and character to total strangers. I'd gladly trade in my placard indefinitely for just a week of having my old body back when I could run, sit on the floor, or even hold a fork without tendons popping out of place.
I anticipate the day when a nationally designated system is formed. Texas law states that blue placards are for those who use assistive devices; red permits are for people with a "condition that impairs mobility." In other states, red symbolizes six months of disability and blue is permanent. It's confusing! And for one with invisible illness, the wheelchair symbol discredits both our physical pain and--in the eyes of others--our reputation. Until then, we rely on Invisible Illness Week bumper stickers.
The next time you see a healthy looking man loading groceries into his car--parked in the "blue spot"--don't glare. Stop and offer to help him, or just smile nicely, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Seventy percent of suicides have uncontrollable physical pain as a factor. Your smile may save his life. At the least, it will astonish him, perhaps providing him with genuine encouragement he hasn't felt for months.
Why do you need a handicapped spot? Simply drop your mother off right at the front door of the store, and park in a regular spot.
Bump
I am on both sides of this. I had a placard for a while, and really needed it some days. It gives you an appreciation of why the blues stalls are there.
A few times I was questioned, but it was normally polite. Once it was not, and I think that person will never question anyone again.
I have also questioned people a few times and turned in many more. Never had a real confrontation, and I know several placards were confiscated.
put a bunch of thumbtacks in your shoe, then walk a fair distance. you’ll see what I mean;-)
I know a lady who has degenerating hips and has been in constant pain for the last two years. her most comfortable gait is almost a trot. and she still hurts.
What I don’t get is all those handicapped parking spaces at The Home Depot. If you’re loading up a cart of 2x4’s and plywood........you’re not friggin’ handicapped.
I’m handicapped and use the HC spaces at Home Depot regularly. Home Depot has a great gardening department. And if something is too bulky or heavy for me to load it up the clerks are great about taking care of it for me. And they usually appreciate the tip.
Come to think of it I guess I need to run to Home Depot at lunch. I don’t need any plywood but could use a small box of 1 1/2 inch sheetrock screws.
>>>>>>>>>>>> add paranoid to the list!
Uh... no, people have actually SAID this to me... including relatives. I just didn’t want to name names in my editorial :)
Lisa Copen
Not 1 in 2 NEED placards... but illness is much more prevalent than we all are led to believe. There are thousands of illnesses doctors can’t cure and until you have one, you are led to believe that pretty much anything can be cured with a few drugs.
Statistics are here:
http://www.restministries.org/invisibleillness/statistics.htm
Specifically:
Various studies have reported that physical illness or uncontrollable physical pain are major factors in up to 70% of suicides;
Mackenzie TB, Popkin MK: “Suicide in the medical patient.”. Intl J Psych in Med 17:3-22, 1987
Thank you for your kind comments. I have to stop reading the board—as people as so rude and judgemental. I actually am not as sensitive to all of this as I once was, and writing it made me feel a bit like a whiner... but I needed to get the message heard...and this was a way to do it, because so many people have experienced the same things and feel so alone.
Appreciated your support
Lisa Copen
She’s “hearing” anonymous whispers.
And your point is? People say things like this all the time. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I heard when I was out somewhere with my SIL who had blown up like a baloon due to medication she was on.
Not just once, she speaks as though it happens every time she gets her kid out of the car.
I didn’t read it as though she was claiming it happened every time, just that she was bracing herself for it every time. Believe me, I braced myself for the comments any time I went out with my SIL.
She sounds paranoid to me.
Then you’ve been very blessed never to have endured the kinds of things she and my SIL endured.
>>I feel sorry for the author’s ailments, but the original intent of Handicapped Parking Spaces were to provide additional space to maneuver for those confined to a wheelchair. Not so they could get a closer parking space to the store!<<
That was my impression as well. I have used handicapped parking spots in the past, but only with my walker-shuffling elderly blind grandmother who takes a good bit of manuvering to get out of the car.
Here’s my question. If one has an invisible pain related illness such that one is so crippled that they must park in the spot abosolutely nearest to the store, how do they function IN the store?
Target, for example, is the size of a huge parking lot. Most grocery stores are gigantic as well. Are people really expecting me to believe that they can walk a mile INSIDE the store, but can’t get twenty feet to the door?
Don't fight it...
I resent that fact that some on this post have stated that those using a handicapped parking space or obese, or lazy. I would gladly give my pain to someone else. Those who do not live daily with pain, chronic fatigue and other illnesses will never get it. It seems that we are talking to the most uneducated individuals ever.
We don’t have big gapping sores on our face to show that we have a disability. You can not see MS, Cancer, Heart Disease.
So be nice, it could happen to you. Then see if you need a handicapped space or not.
1/4 of the US population is mentally ill.
So spend an evening with three of your friends. If they seem ok than it’s you!
What really frosts me is watching these handicapped sticker people driving.
They assume that the handicapped sticker gives them the right-of-way.
They also declare their own handicapped parking places anywhere they goddam well please.
They think that the sticker means that we all have to bow and scrape.
Pisses me off.
Take a deep breath and reread my post, please. You’ve completely misinterpreted what I typed.
Welcome to FR, by the way.
First day, I see.
Let me just tell you something. I was in the prime of my life in Graduate School working on a Doctorate seeing patients 4 days a week. I worked out everyday even when I didn’t feel like it and I’m a vegetarian. I was in peak physical condition when I was struck by Lupus. So tell me if your such a genius what was it I was doing wrong that caused it. Oh wait you don’t have an answer for that one. Now I’m no longer able to stay in school fighting for my life everyday! I have nearly died twice in the last year. All I’m saying is why don’t you take a look at what you said. Now think about this happening to you or someone in your family God forbid. Do you really think we are asking for it? Because even though I may not have that many days left on this earth I still am trying to make a difference in this world! This post is for all of us fighting the pain, the tears, the despair, but also the joys in life that keep us moving forward! Also, to those who have lost the fight waiting for a cure!
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness.
At that rate, well need to make half of all parking lots handicap accessible only spots.
Im sorry, but the majority of these problems ironically come from the lack of exercise and poor eating habits.
Perhaps we ought to put everyones handicap place, save for those who have an actual cane or chair, on the outskirts of the parking lot.
Now, I didn’t say that everyone’s problems are from a lack of exercise or poor eating habits, did I? At least you were trying to stay healthy. Can you honestly say that the majority of people take the pains you did to prevent a chronic problem? I would think not.
I’m sorry you have such a problem, but to attack someone who is simply stating that the majority of people with chronic problems (obesity, heart conditions, diabetes, etc.) greatly or completely encouraged their situation by their own bad choices over time, is ridiculous.
Get over yourself. My comments stand.
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