Posted on 08/20/2007 7:41:24 AM PDT by Between the Lines
OPINION, August 20 /Christian Newswire/ -- "Do you know the fine for using someone else's handicapped parking permit is $300?" "That parking spot is saved for the disabled! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Nearly everyone with an invisible illness has been told, "You don't look disabled to me!" One of my friends replied, "Well, you don't look stupid to me." I just bite my lip to try to prevent the tears from forming, broken-hearted that I appear to be deceptive, when I would do anything to give back this parking perk that I use on a rare occasion.
As I circle the parking lot a fourth time on this day I hope for a spot to open up within two-hundred yards of the store, but there is nothing remotely close at this bustling superstore where I need to buy my prescriptions and milk for my toddler. My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring badly, causing extra fluid in my knees to dislocate pieces of loose bones. Every step is painful and unpredictable.
Finally I sigh in resignation and pull into the farthest "blue parking spot." I reach for the placard--the one that has a bold white symbol of a wheelchair--and no, I don't have a wheelchair--yet. So after fifteen years of having this "privilege" at my disposal I still warily scan the area before reluctantly dangling the placard from the rear view mirror. Is there anyone watching, wondering, or waiting, ready to confront me?
I've had scathing notes left on my windshield and many people, empowered by television exposés, have approached me with their opinions. Judgmental expressions and whispers sting just as much. My husband and I adopted a baby and when I would get my child of the car I would avoid eye contact with onlookers because I could hear their whispers of, "She's not disabled! Or--if she is--she has no right to have a child!"
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness. It could be diabetes, cancer, cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia or even chronic back pain. Many illnesses make walking long distances impossible because of limited lung capacity, physical pain, or unpredictable numbness in the legs. According to statistics provided by the U.S. Census Bureau, about 96% of these illnesses are invisible. There is no sign of the illness existing, nor the use of an assistive device like a cane or a wheelchair.
I began National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week in 2002, which is held this year Sept 10-16, 2007, after witnessing thousands of people who had frustrations, fears, loneliness, and bitterness, about feeling invalidated. One's illness, age, diagnosis, or level of disease degeneration, doesn't change the emotional pain.
Strangers and loved ones alike doubt the severity of our illness or even the diagnosis. We've heard, "You look so good! You must be feeling better." But we don't feel better. We just bought some fake tan in a bottle and pasted on a smile.
National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is a time to acknowledge that invisible illness is more prevalent than we'd imagine and everyone--both those who are healthy and ill--can make a difference by encouraging someone with an invisible illness, rather than tearing someone down.
Are those parking spots painted blue because they give so many people the blues? That small area of square footage is a breeding ground for many frustrations as we are forced to defend our illness and character to total strangers. I'd gladly trade in my placard indefinitely for just a week of having my old body back when I could run, sit on the floor, or even hold a fork without tendons popping out of place.
I anticipate the day when a nationally designated system is formed. Texas law states that blue placards are for those who use assistive devices; red permits are for people with a "condition that impairs mobility." In other states, red symbolizes six months of disability and blue is permanent. It's confusing! And for one with invisible illness, the wheelchair symbol discredits both our physical pain and--in the eyes of others--our reputation. Until then, we rely on Invisible Illness Week bumper stickers.
The next time you see a healthy looking man loading groceries into his car--parked in the "blue spot"--don't glare. Stop and offer to help him, or just smile nicely, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Seventy percent of suicides have uncontrollable physical pain as a factor. Your smile may save his life. At the least, it will astonish him, perhaps providing him with genuine encouragement he hasn't felt for months.
I’ve had 2 major flareups, one treated with medication and the other time with spinal injections. I’ve been able to avod surgery but I’m told it’s not as bad as something like a disc replacement or removal.
Every step is a potential time-bomb. I’ve scared people at the store because I’ve cried out in pain while shopping.
Of course, one of the FR “medical doctors” on this thread will accuse you of being overweight and not eating properly.
Thank you. Very well said. To ride is enjoyable, you get some exercise and very seldom do you have to have your feet on the ground. Sometimes a 4 wheeler is harder to drive than a motorcycle. I know of one rider who proudly rides even though his legs are still in Iraq. Stainless steel “stubs”
There is an inverse proportion between the number of available parking spaces and the distance to your destination. Sometimes it's faster to park further away and walk than it is to circle the lot waiting for a closer spot to open up.
how dare you drive a mercedes!! you’re supposed to drive an old Ford/Chevy rust bucket that barely runs.;-)
I have a 12 cylinder Jag, and you should SEE the looks I get!
Many cities require a greater number of spaces than that required by the ADA.
“You don’t know what you are talking about. For your sake, I hope you never find out how stupid that statement is.”
I wouldn’t use a handicapped spot if I had 2 broken legs and a rubber crutch, but that’s just me.
If your mother couldn't walk more than a hundred feet or so without chest pain, most rational and reasonable people would conclude that she should have used a wheelchair, which use no one I know of has ever questioned. I know under those circumstances, I would.
Why, my poor old mother...
...no, I can't do it!
you are correct my friend. I’ve tried chiropractors, physical therapy (now THAT was painful!) and all kinds of junk. I had a shot a few months ago and it seemed to have kept things down to a dull roar for a spell. maybe it’s wearing off because this weekend and today are not comfortable.
some folks wouldn’t want me on the harley today...
You’re right.
I guess we do need to make half of all parking lots the special reserved spots.
Stop that. That was goofy enough the first time around.
LOL!
Reminds me of the joke about the car parked in the expired meter. An older guy comes out of the store and sees a meter maid writing a ticket for parking on an expired meter. So he says "How about giving on old guy a break?" She just keeps writing. He says I was protecting your freedom from little Nazis like you before your parents even met, How about just letting me put a quarter in the meter?" She gives him a really dirty look and rips off one ticket and starts writing another for being too far from the curb. He says, "That's not fair, just because you're having a bad day don't take it out on me." She looks at the tires and then starts writing another ticket for unsafe equipment. He says "You really are into abusing your little bit of authority aren't you." She says "Sir if you don't move your car immediately I'll have it impounded. He says "You wouldn't dare." She gets on on the radio and calls the tow truck which then comes and takes away the car. She says "Maybe that will teach you to be polite to cops." He says "Two things. First, you're not a cop, you're a meter maid, and second, I couldn't care less. I have no idea whose car that is. I just noticed that it had a Kerry sticker on it and figured anyone who has one of those on so long after the election deserves a bit of grief." and off he went.
That’s a good idea. My placard has a number on it but it bears no relation to the license plate number.
One thing that people really abuse the placards for is free parking. Here in lovely downtown Sacramento, you get to park for free and as long as you want at parking meters if you have a tag and I can guarantee that they are getting abused.
Every 6 months or so the local TV station will accost people using the tags and it is amazing how many are using some else’s tags. Bad Karma man.
don’t have one. Don’t need one.
But thanks for your concern.
some of us view disability as somethign to overcome, not to surrender to. like my fear of heights. We dined atop the SKylon tower a few weeks ago on our honeymoon. We also ride the harley up Mt. Washington in NH each years.
we deal with them, not the other way around.
but we sometimes need a little consideration from others. When each step means pain, why take longer walks then one needs?
my big prob is that I’m too rich for some folks.
Of course not. You'd have the wife drop you off at the door. ;)
From the American with Disabilities Act (the people that brought you handicapped parking):
When accessible parking spaces are added in an existing parking lot, locate the spaces on the most level ground close to the accessible entrance. An accessible route must always be provided from the accessible parking to the accessible entrance. An accessible route never has curbs or stairs, must be at least 3- feet wide, and has a firm, stable, slip-resistant surface...
So she has to carry a wheel chair in her car and then deal with that too. Or should she have spent $40,000 or $50,000 on a handicap van just so she could have used a wheelchair. She knew her condition was temporary (would end in death) and didn't want to be bothered. Use some thought. I love the monday morning quarterbacks busybodies who always tell other people how to solve their problems. It's attitudes like that which led to the intrusive nanny state that we have now.
my lady just LOVES Dairy Queen. She’d own one if she wouldn’t eat all the profits;-)
last year when she was sick, she asked me to take her there once when she was discharged from the hospital. Because she was really too weak to stand, I drove up to the curb, bot her out, then propped her against the wall whilst I then parked the car.
This car has an HC placard on the RVmirror, btw.
people gave her hell until I came to the rescue.
I agreed to take her to DQ because the general opinion was thtat she’d be dead in three weeks. she did manage to fool them. we were married in June
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