Ten Things Your IT Department Won't Tell You

The Wall Street Journal ^ | July 30, 2007 | VAUHINI VARA

[redfish53]

Ten Things Your IT Department Won't Tell You By VAUHINI VARA July 30, 2007; Page R1

Admit it: For many of us, our work computer is a home away from home.

It seems only fair, since our home computer is typically an office away from the office. So in between typing up reports and poring over spreadsheets, we use our office PCs to keep up with our lives. We do birthday shopping, check out funny clips on YouTube and catch up with friends by email or instant message.

And often it's just easier to accomplish certain tasks using consumer technology than using the sometimes clunky office technology our company gives us -- compare Gmail with a corporate email account.

Security expert Mark Lobel of PricewaterhouseCoopers describes the most common things employees do on the internet to jeopardize company security. There's only one problem with what we're doing: Our employers sometimes don't like it. Partly, they want us to work while we're at work. And partly, they're afraid that what we're doing compromises the company's computer network -- putting the company at risk in a host of ways. So they've asked their information-technology departments to block us from bringing our home to work.

End of story? Not so fast. To find out whether it's possible to get around the IT departments, we asked Web experts for some advice. Specifically, we asked them to find the top 10 secrets our IT departments don't want us to know. How to surf to blocked sites without leaving any traces, for instance, or carry on instant-message chats without having to download software....

[cyberaxe]

LOL! At my last job, I used to keep a whiffleball bat close to hand and prominently displayed at my desk...likely for some of the same reasons.

.....try a pair of wire snips.....

.....every time someone pulls a fast one.....

.....just snip off the rj45 from their patch cord.....

[ko_kyi]

I had an irate senior manager tell me (after she was unable to play a CD she received in the mail) “I used to work in the federal government and it wasn’t THIS locked down.” It was meant as criticism, but I took it as compliment.

[ko_kyi]

“Why did my friend get a message that the email she tried to send me was undeliverable?”

One if my favorites is “What e-mails haven’t I received?”

[wbill]

.....just snip off the rj45 from their patch cord.....

Yeah, but then wouldn't the token fall out of their Token-Ring network? Perhaps it could be caught in the Ether Net.

(/obscure Dilbert reference)

[cyberaxe]

Yeah, but then wouldn't the token fall out of their Token-Ring network?

.....oh, i forgot to say you need to.....

.....bend the cat5 180 degrees and tape it.....

.....to stop the flow don't you know.....

.....(actually had someone try that, lol).....

[Syntyr]

“My favorite is “Why did my friend get a message that the email she tried to send me was undeliverable?””

Ohh heard that one!

I have been in the biz for a while.

1. Monitor wont work but the light is on (Computer was off)
2. 5 1/4” Floppy wont work (Left in the car during Texas heat now looks like a bloated spoapilla (Mexican dessert))
3. The floppy disk is not working (pulled it out of their pocket and unfolded it then handed it to me so that I could check it)
4. The floppy drive wont let my disk go (Floppy disk was actually crammed between two drives)
5. Monitor is weird colors (took the three sticky magnets off the side of the monitor)

Just the tip of the iceberg... We love our users we truly do...

Back when I was running networks for a University all of my data centers that were student accessible had the following sign in them:

Poor Planning on Your Part does not Constitute an Emergency on Our Part!

[expat_panama]

...serve the sales rep.  

That's the kind of IT that keeps spammers in business...

Hmm  Coming from a career as a design engineer I see your point. 

Some say that a firm can survive a bad engineer dept. but not a bad sales force.  I'd counter that the bad engr firm just goes out of business, but the bad sales company gets bought out and just the sales group gets dumped.

[wbill]

IMHO those are words suitable for framing --for engraving! Personally, I'm not self-employed....yet.

I'm trying to convince myself that I *won't* work harder when I'm self-employed, than I currently do as a corporate geek. Not having a lot of luck, there. The IT shop that I'm currently in is OK, for an IT shop. Hours are moderately reasonable...I'm home for dinner most nights.

But, I gotta tell ya, when things slide downhill and I'm pulling all-nighters, or two-nighters, or all-weekenders..... getting paid for that extra time would be nice. My Dad was a consultant, and he *loved* getting those "we need you immediately" calls....he and Mom went to Europe after one of his clients had him put back together all of their AR databases that had been inadvertently purged.

[Billthedrill]

...wouldn't the token fall out...?

The guy who brought me into this business actually used that line on an intrusive supervisor one time - I was an eyewitness. Then it turned up in Dilbert. For years I was absolutely certain that Scott Adams worked there...

[wbill]

.....bend the cat5 180 degrees and tape it..... Well, the "0's" can slide through OK, but the "1's" get caught.

[CougarGA7]

Ah yes... the .zap file.

[wbill]

At my old job, we'd invariably get calls for "My computer won't turn on." during power outages. People were amazed that we couldn't tell which outlets had computers plugged into them, and then magically keep the power flowing somehow.

I've worked in a couple of places that had hot outlets with generated power...but this place didn't do it.

I bailed out a dentist's office at my first consulting gig. Their building had a direct hit by lightning, and it ran in on all of their modems (Ok, I'm dating myself, here...). I walk in and the receptionist says "Come quick, my PC has a problem." It's *literally* on fire, with smoke rolling out of it. She says "What can we do?" I told her (while hastily looking for something to pick it up with) that "We'll be taking it outside before it burns down the office."

Her next question was "Well, can you fix it?" lol!

[wbill]

Scott’s worked with me in several jobs, too. I think that he’s worked with everyone in IT.

[Alas Babylon!]

BFL8-er!

[cyberaxe]

get calls for "My computer won't turn on." during power outages.

.....i always liked the ones that said.....

.....the power went out, then.....

.....that box that my pc is plugged into started beeping.....

.....then 15 minutes later, my pc turned off while i was right in the middle of something.....

[quikdrw]

I admit it. But I have to support them, so it is good to have one that I wreck with Microsoft and Citrix updates before I have try to do it to a customer’s production server. Not all updates cause problems, but you just can’t be too sure.

Users get upset when they can’t access their Citrix server when ever and from where ever they want to.

[quikdrw]

I absolutely hate those situations. Some how, it is always my fault that I don’t know which file they need to do their work.

[wbill]

.....that box that my pc is plugged into started beeping.....

Well, doesn't the "U" in UPS stand for "Unlimited"? Sheesh, you IT guys don't understand how IMPORTANT it is that I get my work done! Let me call your manager to complain.

[TC Rider]

Here’s the 11th thing your IT department won’t tell you.

11. Use one of the above dodges and screw up the network and you’ll be doomed. If you get to keep your job expect extreme scrutiny of all you do and don’t lay awake at night thinking about that new high end system on your desk.

The IT Manager

[redfish53]

too funny!! and true!!