Bad cameo in horror flick (MARIOTTI IS BARRY APOPLECTIC AT MICHAEL JORDAN'S SELLOUT)

The Natural -- Michael Jordan -- should know better than to give Barry Bonds a video salute after slugger's 754th homer

SAN FRANCISCO -- He was real. He was natural. His muscular definition, by all accounts, was developed in weight rooms and not in some science lab. His only competitive sin on the court was trying to destroy one's dignity, and when you ponder it all, Michael Jordan's magnificent legacy only should be enhanced by the sleaze surrounding Barry Bonds. So why, after Bonds ripped his 754th home run at AT&T Park, would a tribute from Jordan suddenly appear on the video board in center field? Why associate himself in any way with this dirtball circus? When Joe Montana delivered a video salute to Bonds recently, it was somewhat understandable as a Bay Area icon praising another. But Jordan? And then Wayne Gretzky on Saturday night, in a pregame salute? What do they have in common with Bonds other than prolific numbers -- theirs accrued without the slightest hint of suspicion?

''Hey Barry, it's Michael Jordan,'' he said, flanked by the logo of the Charlotte Bobcats, the NBA franchise he runs these days. ''I just want to congratulate you on your historic event. I'm very happy for you. Ever since the first day I saw you in the batting cage, you've been working toward this for a long period of time. So I want to wish you and Elizabeth and that beautiful girl of yours congratulations. I'm very happy for you.''

Bonds was visibly moved. Coming off a tortured week when his credibility was singed by everyone from Bob Costas to Curt Schilling to the BALCO-affiliated chemist who developed the ''clear'' that creamed his career, the Human Mood Swing finally found someone who, gee, really likes him. Who knew it would be The King? Shouldn't Jordan have given deeper thought to the ramifications of supporting Bonds as he passes the record of the regal Henry Aaron?

''It feels great having Michael Jordan say what he said,'' Bonds gushed. ''He's just phenomenal.''

Which prompts a question: Who should appear on the video board after No. 756, a milestone finally upon us after a wait that has anesthetized the national psyche? Tim Donaghy? Michael Vick? Greg Anderson, his personal trainer, on a satellite beam from jail as federal inmate No. 93389-011?

In that vein, I might suggest Victor Conte, the BALCO founder and unofficial godfather of the steroids era, who claims that half the players in the baseball All-Star Game have used illegal performance-enhancing drugs since the end of last season. Wasn't Bonds an All-Star, by the way? And if you doubt the credibility of Conte, never discount a man immersed in the steroids culture. Why not put him on that board? Hell, knowing the way Bonds' hometown salivates over him as he nears Aaron's record, I wouldn't be surprised by anything at this stage.

Frisco love fest It takes a lot to shake a building in this city, post-1989-earthquake construction being what it is. But Bonds' latest shot came close. Ever wonder what happened to all the hippies and flower children of the '60s? Seems they grew up and became Barryphiles, flashing bulbs and standing in a delirious daze every time he came to bat these last two nights. No. 754 came off Florida rookie Rick Vanden Hurk, which is Dutch for batting-practice pitcher. The Marlins proceeded to walk him the next four times Friday, drawing loud boos, but give credit to Saturday's starter, Bay Area native Dontrelle Willis, for challenging his friend and boyhood hero with his high kick and dangling legs. After retiring Bonds on a pop-up in the third inning, he smiled and jawed at Bonds, who returned the verbal volley. He would go 0-for-3 with a walk and remain one behind Aaron. If you're searching for co-conspirators who have aided and abetted Bonds through the years, look no further than Giants ownership and the fans who pack this acid trip of a ballpark. The fans will remain loyal until their dying day, which can't be said of managing general partner Peter Magowan. The gem by the bay was privately financed when it opened in 2000, meaning Magowan had to focus more than most owners on filling the seats. He used Bonds -- suspicions and all -- to turn the park into a cash cow. The town's unconditional love for its slugger, despite a steroids cloud that hangs like the fog, forced Magowan to buy into history even as the Giants were soiling their proud tradition. But now, in what smacks of hypocrisy, Magowan openly admits the Bonds Watch is getting old and all but confirms this will be Barry's final season as a Giant. Even some of the players, including respected veteran Omar Vizquel, have complained the media are completely ignoring them.

Git-r-done ''The sooner it's over with, the better,'' Magowan said of the chase. Yep, an owner who ignored innuendo to feed his coffers suddenly can't wait to run off Bonds once the record is broken. Magowan says the Bonds-first emphasis, the franchise's modus operandi for years, no longer works as a win-loss paradigm. ''Is the strategy that we've been on still the right strategy for us moving forward? I think you could make a pretty good argument it isn't, that it no longer works. And, therefore, needs to be changed,'' Magowan said.

Guess who wasn't pleased to hear that? ''This is not going to be my last season, as a Giant or in baseball,'' Bonds said defiantly.

Every so often, he comes off like a beaten man, another byproduct of a record few want him to have. The other day, about 20 years too late, he sounded like a human being suddenly pleading for the understanding of others. His knows the chase has been dragging on like snail mail, and with uncommon self-analysis, he asked us to sympathize with his Inner Barry. ''I've got to take a step back a little bit. It's hard to explain what's going on inside right now,'' he said. ''If you don't have any inner feelings about it, you're not human.''

It's hard to feel sorry for him. I don't recall Aaron complaining about pressure and mental complications, though he had sufficient reason, as racism and death threats clouded his every step in 1974.

The solution is simple: Just hit the two home runs, already, so we can move on to baseball as we once knew it and put the steroids era in a past tense. If ever it was in the best interests of a sport, a city and a nation to end a bad movie, this is the time. Too bad Michael Jordan, of all people, played a cameo role.

I can’t think of anything more annoying than the media hype surrounding the Sultan of Steroids “home run record”. Maybe Hillary’s voice.

Henry Aaron is still the Major League home run leader.

21 posted on 07/29/2007 3:42:27 PM PDT by popdonnelly (Our first responsibility is to keep the power of the Presidency out of the hands of the Clintons.)

Some of the most piss poor defense and offense I have ever seen is in the current NBA. I have seen grade schoolers with better discipline and execution. I can’t stand to watch it anymore, I loved it when I was a kid. The NBA has become a league for show offs

22 posted on 07/29/2007 3:49:46 PM PDT by vpintheak (Like a muddied spring or a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked. Prov. 25:26)

I was responding to your posting, the first on the thread. What else you are speaking of is foreign to me.

You almost have to go with Pete Rose, MLB Hits Leader/Bookie.

As disgraceful and illegal as Pete Rose's gambling was, there is no possible way that it could have resulted in his batting record (unless he had intentionally not gotten hits).

The league needs to be bulldozed and started again. Naismith is spinning in his grave.

The first time Dennis Rodman appeared in public in a dress, the NBA's days were numbered.

Very true - but gambling in baseball was very illegal long before roids were. The Babe’s illegal alcohol use may come into play as well before all is said and done.

“Aaron is pretty much an ass-wipe himself.”

How so?

29 posted on 07/29/2007 5:35:52 PM PDT by popdonnelly (Our first responsibility is to keep the power of the Presidency out of the hands of the Clintons.)

I still remember the day Aaron jerked a lot of us kids around clearly; the Braves were still in Milwaukee and they were playing the Cubs at Wrigley. We were there real early and went down by the Braves dugout during warm-ups. I got the autographs of pitcher Pat Jarvis, infielder Woody Woodward (who I think is one of the higher-ups in the Braves organization now), and the great pinch-hitter Rico Carty (still have them buried in the basement somewhere.) Aaron came by and all of us kids were shouting, “Hank! Hank!” and the sucker didn’t even acknowledge us with a wave, a hat tip, or anything, let alone stop for an autograph. I counted him as a bum ever since, home runs or not.

I agree. Everyone knows that, when Bonds breaks Aaron’s record, it should have a big asterisk beside it in the record books. One consolation is that it took over 30 years to break the the “real” home run record, but it will not take nearly as long to break this “fake” one.

For example, A-rod, who just hit #499, is only 32, having been born only a year before Hank hit his last home run. Baring injury, and depending on how many HRs Barry ends up with before he retires, A-rod has a very good chance to pass Barry's total. He is over 200 HRs ahead of Barry’s total at age 32. Also, A-rod is not the only one with a shot at breaking this illegitimate record. Hank Aaron also holds the all-time RBI record at 2297 which may never be broken.

I can understand MJ appreciating what Bonds did. After all, any sports "great" is going to make what he does look easy. But just because you're the best at one sport doesn't make you particularly good at another sport. Remember MJ's foray into major league baseball, where he spent the vast majority of his time in the minors. MJ KNOWS how difficult it is to hit a ball pitched by a major league pitcher.

Although this has nothing to do with the article, here's a photo of Aaron Yates, riding the #20 Michael Jordan Motorsports Suzuki GSX-R1000 in AMA Superbike competition.

Mark

Did I get the rule wrong? I though the traveling rule was one step allowed per $10 million of salary. :=)

A special variation of the rule.

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