The whole problem is marriage in not a institution of the STATE. The STATE did not institute marriage. I merely recognizes it. It pre exsisted the STATE. Now that the STATE is involved the STATE wants to say what MARRIAGE is and is not. This is something that the STATE does not have the power to do. They can pass laws all day long saying gays can marry. But they can NOT actually do so. They can only get the STATE to call their contract marriage but marriage it will never be.
I agree that marriage is not ultimately defined by the state.
However, the argument of gays is that the state discriminates against them if it allows heterosexuals to “marry,” but does not allow them to do so.