Don't ever read "The Onion". You'd be in a tither. Its for people who don't need a sarcasm tag.
The very fact that it is published in the Onion makes it sarcasm. It's a little tougher to read between the lines on a thread with a variety of posters. Until I've seen enough of your posts, I can't discern whether you intend sarcasm or sincerity on an issue.