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God created Heaven and the angels first. Then the angels got tired of putting up with him and rebelled. Then God chose to not destroy those angels and their leader, but instead gave them not only their own place to run, but also gave them enormous control over the new place God was about to create, Earth and its inhabitants. Then man (and woman) rebelled against God (it’s hard to see how he didn’t see that coming) by falling for a trap that God himself put in their home (Thanks for the trap, God! And why did you let Satan in here, anyway?). Then God got annoyed and kicked them out of their home. Then later God saw that man really, really had gotten tired of him, so he said, “Well, let’s see how good you can swim!” and he flooded the whole earth, every man, woman (even the pregnant ones with that special pregnancy glow with their cute fetuses inside) and child (even the ones with physical and mental deformities), except for one family that still was pretty dysfunctional (Noah the alcoholic who gets angry when his son Ham tells his brothers that Dad’s drunk and naked again and so Noah puts a curse— just like Henbane put on Sleeping Beauty, but this is all totally real and not made up like Sleeping Beauty— on his own grandson and his grandson’s lineage). Then God’s new creation rebelled against him (again!) and so he had to send a new savior (even though the savior never made a big deal about writing things down regarding what we should or should not do, and he recycled previous material, and called people he disagreed with names and had bouts of rage— like Daddy, and wasn’t inclined to use reason to convince people he was right— only coercion of riches and threats of eternal pain in the afterlife). Then God shut up for 2000 years, after being quite active for 4000 years prior. It all makes sense to me.